Lundi (Monday)

Hi all.

So I decided that I get enough questions like, "so...what do you do throught the week?" that I'm going to show you exactly what I do in a week. So I'm taking lots of pictures this week and then I'll update you on each day about what I do. My normal schedule is a little different this week. But it will be different for a while, because the Thelander's are all leaving for a few weeks (so sad). Now without further ado, here's my monday.


I got up a little late and was moving kinda slow this morning (I haven't been feeling so well lately) So I didn't do paacs stuff this morning as is my usual. Nor did I take a picture this morning of anything.

I went to the thelander's for lunch. Joanna called because they had made lentil stew, and I am associated with lentils. Works for me. I like Lentils. So we had stew they made because they learned about Jacob and Esau and how he sold his birthright for stew and bread. We also had salmon patties though. And I told them how I add raisins to my lentil stew, so we added some to ours and that turned out to be a hit. I didn't get a picture of this because I forgot I was documenting my day.

Then the kids and I went up to the school. We brought up some games and a snack and hunkered down in the office (it's air conditioned...yay! Although, today was a chilly day really. Very cloudy.)

We played letter bingo. I taught them how to play with two boards so now they're all ready for the nursing homes in another 60-70 years. They'll be pros.

Then we played this game called "Peanut butter and Jelly" The goal is to make sandwiches with your cards. The game instructions actually don't clarify exactly how certain situations are supposed to go. But was had a good time. I have a really neat video of playing, but I'm not sure I can get it to load on here. I'll try though. So, it loaded, hopefully it won't take forever to play. It's not that exciting, just our discussion while we play. I think it's cute though. You can see for yourself how excited they get about their cards :-p


The kids were really excited about taking pictures. So I let them take a few. Or a lot, really. They like the camera. I taught them to always put the little strap on their wrist first so that my camera hopefully won't ever go crashing to the floor.

We took some goofy pictures. If they're all slanty, that's because Luke and Sarah think it's cooler to take photos at an angle. Oh well. At least I can tell which ones are theirs!

We had a snack outside. And figured out that it's hard to get everyone in the picture when I'm taking it. We got some, but this one was better, even though 2/3 of my head isn't in it.


After snack we went to the library. Luke took a picture of the exciting act of unlocking the library door.


Then we entered and had more fun taking pictures of looking at books than actually chosing some to read. Which is rare. Normally we leave with about 500 books. But we had some good ones. We read a Frog and Toad story. Those are some of my favorites.




Then it was back to finishing our sandwich game.

A funny moment during this game was when Sarah said she couldn't say the word "ant." This is a game of hers "I can't say that word!" me: "what word?" "that word you said." And I try and get her to accidentally say the word that she said she can't say. So I asked her my name.
Sarah:"Aunt Jessica"
me: "Ha! You can say Ant/aunt!"
They seemed to have never noticed that the two words sound the exact same, and they were amazed. It was really funny.


After the game and reading we made a spider man puzzle Luke brought up. It was a little complicated for them, but they did a good job with only a little help. It looked pretty cool. Luke wanted to make sure his mom saw it, so we took a picture. Here it is in all it's web-slinging glory:



We walked home after cleaning up and I got an extra french lesson from Joanna while we sat around admiring their new coffee table (from the Thompsons). I learned how to say a car doesn't work: La voiture est en panne. And "step by step": pas a pas. It was good. I'm learning lots I think.

Since then, I came back, ate dinner, worked on paacs (I'm gathering data for a 6 month report that needs finished by January 15. And then I worked on this post. Now it's off for a little reading and bedtime!

--Jessica

A Very Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Life has been fantastic here. For Christmas morning I got up a little late...I was up too late finishing presents for Luke and Sarah the night before, and I set my alarm and forgot to turn it on. Oh well. I was still up in plenty of time to go over to the Thelander's for breakfast (I brought cinnamon rolls and they made eggs and BACON!). Then we all opened presents (they had opened some before I came. Everyone was super generous and gave me presents too. I got some food that I'm really excited about and note cards and a nifty bamboo vase and a planner (I must look unorganized. ) It was fun to get to open presents on Christmas, I didn't expect that.

Nor did I expect to get a birthday present from my fabulous family, who sent me a cute little computer for my brithday. It even has an adorable pink case. And now I have a place to keep my pictures and things again. Also, my old computer is back among the living. Well, sorta. It just needs a new cord (which, if anyone has an old powerbook cord --kind with the plug, not the magnet--that's 65 watts, and you don't need it anymore, let me know.) So, that was pretty amazing. The only thing that could have made Christmas any better would have been to have my family out here too.
After presents we headed up to the Thompsons. Everyone got together there for a carry-in lunch and games and then dinner. It was a blast. First, Becki's house looked like a winter wonderland, and it was great how it felt like Christmas despite the hot weather!
After lunch and a few games of mexican golf and then mexican train (I don't know why we only play games with mexican in the name, I think we need settlers of Mexico instead of catan, since it's really out of the loop) everyone started taking pictures of everyone. For the above photo Joanna started jumping arond shaking bells and making crazy noises. It got the kids lauging (and Rebecca looking) for some good pictures. That turned into a Christmas sing-a-long. which turned into a dance-around-the-table-singing-and hamming-it-it-up-a-long. It was pretty fabulous. And just when I thought I had been transported back to college, we all started linedancing. It wasn't quite highschool musical. Since no one here is in highschool...and we didn't sing while dancing, and the dancing was a little chaotic. But, Meladee was a line dance teacher and so we learned to line dance to such christmas classics as "Grandma was run over by a reindeer"

By the end of the time I was exhausted, and everyone was sweaty (except for the few who decided to pretend that this christmas chaos was not happening and just play cards).

Then I came back and skyped my family. My new computer has a little webcam, and I saw my family for the first time since August. It was amazing. I was so happy. :-)


So, I'm happy to report that even though Christmas away from family is hard, if you just adopt new families, it can still be fabulous. I'm so thankful for how God has given me everything and more that I need, and really could even want since coming here. I have great friends, I get to help out with important work, and I'm having a great time.

Also--I had a tarantula the other night. I really have to post a picture of him. Now, I know I'm a little off the deep-end when I find myself armed with a shoe and a camera to dispatch the intruder. So I snapped some pictures and then killed him. It sorta bothered me though. So I dreamed about him all night. And got up at 4:30 to stop the dreams. Bleh. I really, really, seriously dislike spiders with an intensity that cannot be described. But I'm getting more used to them, the dislike is still there, but the fear is ever less and less. Which is good. Because, They're all over.



Now to cleanse your retina, here's a pretty picture. It's a butterfly. After going to the river today I came back and found a butterfly on the bush by my door. And he posed for some pictures.
Cute isn't he? (or she, as Sarah would point out).



Alrighty, well that's it from chez moi today. Feel free to email or message anytime!

Jessica

Update!

Bonjour!

Although here it night, but, oh well.

I haven't posted in a while, it feels like a year, but basically, it's been busy. I know, lame excuse, but it's been busy and nothing that has hit my blogging fancy occurred during the business.

But, because I want you to know I'm still alive and still doing stuff, I'm going to just catch you up on some of the happenings here.

Kellys

First--Tim and Amanda Kelly came to visit. They are going to be the STMO (Short Term Mission Office) people for Bongolo. Which means the work groups and teams that come in will be taken care of by the Kellys. It seems like it will help out here a lot, since right now these teams get all their help from people that already have other jobs (like Surgeon, nurse, mom, doctor, etc.).They came for a whirlwind visit to see their future home and meet the people and have an idea of what they're about to jump into. They have 3 kids between 7-13, but they weren't on this visit. It was really neat to meet them. They are coming in March, so please be praying for them! The kids will have some adjusting to do (the switch from US to Jungle is kinda big, but they are excited, so that's good). They also need their house to sell. So Just be praying for God's peace and wisdom for them as they are trying to move forward, raise money and say good-bye to family, friends, and the familiar to come serve God by helping out here in Gabon!


Itinerary

Tim and Meredith Brokopp drove the Kellys down to Bongolo and helped them out with planning and such while down here since they are the STMO people in Libreville. This meant I got a chance to chat with them about how things are going down here (great) and what I'll be doing the rest of my time. I came down here for a month or two with plans to rediscuss. I think this was incase it didn't work so well then I could go back to Libreville. But I really love my jobs down here and I'm enjoying it a lot. So we decided I should stay down here, so it looks like I'll be down here most of the rest of my time in Gabon. I'm excited about this, because I really love (almost) everything about being here (and the things I don't love I can definitely deal with. And what would the jungle be without various nasty, creepy, crawling things?) Oh! And, Lisa Nicky (She's the nurse whose house I'm living in) is going to let me continue living here with her when she gets back in January. So that's really very exciting! (It is always good to not be homeless--of course, I don't think that was really going to be the case)


Computer

My Computer died. Or a part of it, I think (and hope and pray) that the memory and all that is fine, but it can't charge. So, maybe pray that it starts working again or Keir can fix it or maybe that my old one gets pregnant and has a new one. Something. Till then, I really can't complain because I have a borrowed laptop. It's not quite as fantastic as my old mac, and I am re-learning windows, but it does what I need it too(most of the time).


Davises

Paul and Meladee Davis just moved here from Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Paul will be the new matinance guy, and from what I've heard, we need him. So, since there are a lot of stuff that need fixed, please pray that Paul has wisdom and insight into the problems and that he can fix them. Also please pray for the transition. They just left their family and friends back in the US right before Christmas! I think they could probably use some prayers for extra joy, new good friends, and lots of endurance to help them through this move. But I know everyone here is so glad that they have decided to follow God's call out here to serve in this very important job of keeping the hospital and station working!


Blessings all around

So, it's not quite Christmas yet, but I'll get sappy for you all now anyway. Christmas time is when God gave us Christ and a key part of his gift of salvation, so now we celebrate Christmas with gifts to remember all that God has given us. I have been amazed by how many early-Christmas presents God has been giving me this season already. He's been giving me patience and hope and faith that I never thought I'd have. The easiset example for me to throw out is with the computer. It's broken, and when it broke, I didn't melt down or freak out or cry like the other two times this has happened. Instead I was able to take it in stride, and then almost right away I had another computer to use. I am so happy to be able to look back at the beginning of my trip here and remember who I was, and to see now all that I have learned. It's incredible. Still, it's going to be hard to be here the next few weeks and not home like I'm used to. I've never been away from my family for my birthday or Christmas, so I'd appreciate your prayers. But, even though I imagine that will be rough, God has really blessed me with great friends here, so even though I won't be with my blood family at home I will be celebrating with my family in Christ here in Bongolo. It's enough for me. My life right now constantly makes me remember God's statement to Paul "My Grace is sufficient for you." And wow is it ever! He really watches out for us, and I keep finding myself noticing something that I maybe don't like and then realising How it really isn't so bad because of what God has provided (even if it's not quite how I would fix the problem) and say to myself: I really can't complain. Because he's already given me everything I need and more.



(Also, I finally won Setlers of Catan tonight, and that was pretty nifty, although I still like losing more. But Joanna thought I should put this on here :-D)

A Fairy Tale Come True

I just finished working on part of Beth Moore’s Daniel bible study looking at Nebuchadnezzar’s 7 year bout with insanity. It all began with him sitting happily in his palace (Dan. 4:4). He was feeling fine. Secure and rich as you could wish. Last night I looked through a magazine, its feature was a look at which stars were rich and which were poor and what they did with their money.

 

Strangely, I felt torn between, “what on earth do they need that for?” and “wow, that looks nice.”

 

I think we all generally feel that mix of emotions when it comes to wealth, at least extreme wealth that gives you a $12,000 purse and a mansion the size of Connecticut for you, yourself, and well...servants I guess.

 

But at the same time, I have this side that wants to be Mother Theresa. There’s something beautiful about suffering because of love.  We all love the stories about the high and mighty sacrificing everything for the poor and the sick.  The martyrs who will give everything because they love God more than earth and all it can give them. Their are so many fabulous stories of sacrifice that fill you with a feeling of significance with which the most beautiful clothes and mansion really cannot compete.

 

Of course, our favorite stories combine the two, don’t they? The poor beggar marries the princess. The sweet, abused little girl finds out that she’s royalty. But it’s not all material goods—the missionary is killed and his blood feed the soil of the hearts of a whole tribe who come to Christ through his sacrifice.

 

Christmas is approaching. Isn’t it really the ultimate fantastic rags to riches story? Here’s a tiny little baby sitting in a barn with mom and dad in a foreign city. I’ve never thought a barn would be to bad until coming to Africa. There are bugs. Spiders, and roaches, lizards, even snakes. And this is inside the nice house.  I can’t say I know all about the barns in Bethlehem, but I know about nice houses in Africa. And they’re not what we’re used to in the U.S. I don’t want this to sound like complaining about accommodations in Africa. But, I’ve found it hard—at least at first—to get used to the thought that while I’m laying down to sleep, their could be a huge, nasty spider taking a quick nap on the pillow with me, or maybe that little bump by my toe isn’t the sheet but a cockroach snuggling up next to me. These concerns gave me no rest at first—I may have been asleep, but my dreams were about the bugs in my bed.

 

Now maybe I’ve gotten used to this kind of thing.

 

But this was Mary’s first little baby. And this was (I’m guessing) her first night in a barn. She didn’t even have a bed. There’s no way I could’ve slept on the floor my first night here. And really, I probably wouldn’t now. I don’t know how she slept in a barn, and took her beautiful baby boy and let him sleep in a food bowl for donkeys and oxen. Have you seen animals eat? They seem to make everything slimy. My dogs’ bowls were always nasty looking. I wouldn’t have put my head in it, let alone a baby. Really, wouldn’t that get a kid taken away from you in America by social services or someone?

 

I’m not saying Mary abused him, just that it was a pretty rough way to start out for Baby Jesus and Mary. And then I suppose life looked up for a while, until everyone decided it was time to kill him. That would be hard. Even if you are God incarnate, having most of your country wishing you were dead would be awful. That’s why he begged God to do anything else, isn’t it?

 

But look what came of it! Now he’s preparing houses for those who have joined his family and sitting at the right hand of God.

 

He’s King now.

 

From baby boy in a food bowl to Israel’s most wanted to King of Heaven and Earth.

 

It’s a pretty good story. And I’ve always thought—wouldn’t it be nice to be in a story like that?

 

Like some fairy tale, where it may be hard right here, right now, right now, but I know that really I’m a princess, and that one day Daddy-King is going to come. Then he'll give me a hug, whisper my real princess name and tell me he’s proud I remembered and waited for him, and that the I did a good job on the work he left for me to do. Then of course he'll bring me to live in the castle with him. He’ll give me a beautiful princess dress, my dirty face will become shining and beautiful and everything will be a perfect at the beautiful castle—complete with all the world’s problems being solved so that you can really enjoy the beauty and the fun.

 

And today, I realized, really realized, that it’s all true. We really are the princesses and princes in the story. And the best part is, we get to know the end of the story now. 

I don’t know how the princesses in the stories could manage without knowing the perfect end is really coming, but we don’t have to wonder. We can know. He’s coming back for us, and then our joy will be complete and we’ll be His princes and princesses.

 

But for now, it takes faith and some elbow grease*. Cinderella didn’t get to the ball by just pining for her prince at a window—she worked hard, until the time was right.  So we should too—but I think it makes it all better knowing that someday, the King's arms will wrap around me, and that King’s mouth will call me, and that this peasant girl will be transformed into the real princess that she was made to be. And then, we really will live happily ever after.

--Jessica

*in the sense of "bearing your cross" and works that show faith, I don't mean elbow grease that makes (or earns) your own salvation of course.

A few thoughts and then back to what I should be doing

The following may make no sense at all. It's just various things I've been thinking and felt like typing.

Random thought #1

I always thought of death as the most lonely event. You can't die with someone, not really, maybe next to them, but it has no bearing on what happens to you both once you're dead. But we've been studying Daniel in the ladies Bible study here and we just talked about Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego in the furnace. They refuse to bow down and worship King Nebechadnezzar's fancy golden image. So Nebby says, "into my furnace then, and I'm going to make it hotter too!" So they turn it up and toss them in. 

I imagine most of us know the rest of the story: The furnace is so hot it kills the soldiers throwing the boys in. But it can't touch these guys--all it does is burn off their ropes and they start walking around. The kicker is in that there's a fourth man all of the sudden. And Nebechadnezzar exclaims that he looks like a son of the gods. 

Now I don't want to get into who exactly it is--Christ (i.e. God incarnate) or an angel. I just want to say, that it definitely means God is right there with them. And God says that in the bible in different places. But Tuesday night I realised that when you know christ, death won't be isolated at all. He'll be with you through the whole thing. I don't know why I thought that somehow he could be on this side and in heaven, but that he couldn't hold your hand the whole time. But he can--he's God. Why couldn't He?

Well, I hope that wasn't morbid. It just struck me, and I think it's actually really exciting thing to know!

Random thought #2

I get lonely sometimes here. Not always. Most of the time it's great, I have fantastic friends and I really enjoy it. I get lonely when I finish talking to someone from home though. When I'm in my house I'm always hitting the "get mail" button, certain that someone will have emailed me, even though it is something like 2 or 3am and I just checked 10 minutes ago. You never know. One day...I'm sure there will be something. I am always checking Skype and facebook in case someone is online who wants to say hi. 

The funny thing is, as much as I crave getting to talk to someone from home. The worst moment is saying "bye" on a chat or getting to the signiture that signals the end of the email. It's awful. It's the realisation that you probably won't hear anything else that day. Some how, in that second I feel very empty sometimes. It's like for that second I can hear all the quiet lapping waves stretching between me and all the people I love so much.

But then God showed me something. Two somethings. Which don't line up exactly, no analogy is perfect, so this won't be anywhere near it.

1. God wants to hear from you as much as I do, except probably more.

For as much as I long to hear or see the word "hi" God wants it more I'm sure. I think he craves our interaction with Him, afterall, didn't he make us to talk and walk with him? Things got a little messy with The Fall and sin, but that didn't change his desire to have a relationship with you personally. 

2. I feel empty after talking with someone else, but not after talking with God. I've found that when I skip clicking "get mail" 50 times an hour (and you think I'm exaggerating) and talk with God, or read my bible or study it, then I don't walk away feeling like I've swallowed a rock. I find myself encouraged by what I've read or heard, but I also feel enthused. I am so frequently excited about something God's told me, or curious about some new subject to study and learn about God. I've also found that he rewards your hardwork. When I do dig into something, he always reveals something. (segway into random thought #3)Most of the time I learn something I already knew. It's something that as soon as i try and express it turns into a cliché. At first, this frustrated me. I wanted to be able to say what I had learned, but I felt like I couldn't. Now I realise that I have actually just learned what people have always been saying. Sure I knew the words, but now I know what they mean. It's more than comprehension of the sounds, it's deeper understanding that involves the heart alongside the brain. It is a similiar experience as when I realise that I understand the French I am hearing around me. Sure, I can repeat the sounds of what I've just heard, and I'll even recognize words I've heard over and over. But it's when that understanding hits. When I know what those words mean, and when I don't have to tie my brain in a know trying to recall the english version of the French word. That's when I really know what's going on. And now, through my experiences here, I'm really just learning what I've always said and always thought I'd known. You really can't pass wisdom down in words, the words are just an expression of something that God suddenly allows you to truly see. But once you understand it, you really don't need the words at all, except to try and give a sketch of it to someone else in hopes that they have the same understanding as well. 

So---I've not idea if any of that made any sense at all. Just stuff I felt like writing down, and I figured just incase it made sense to someone, I'd post it. If not, you now have a frighteningly accurate portrayal of the inner workings of my mind!

--Jessica

Another post on--you guessed it--FOOD! But this one is really exciting.

I don't have much to write right now. I'm just enjoying my rice-pudding inspired lentil soup. (sounds strange doesn't it?)

This odd little concoction probably would have never crossed my mind (although I cannot say that with certainty) except for a little event Saturday night (I think it was Saturday).

I was cooking my tuna helper with great success. I was turning out quite well, so I decided some multi-tasking was in order and began work on my dishes. Now, my stove and sink are right next to each other, so I wasn't neglecting my dinner in any way--no worries there. In fact, had I left my stove and gone very far, this whole story would most likely have taken on a very different ending and the telling would have probably involved a lot less mirth.

I was on my second dish when I heard a soft "whomph." This noise did not concern me. I have learned that gas stoves make this little "whomphing" noise quite a bit and it's nothing to alarm oneself about.

However, orange flames are a problem. And when I saw the orange glowing light behind my stove and the gentle flickering, I was not soothed by how it reminded me of multiple evenings of relaxing around a campfire on family camping trips. I was not even thinking, "if only I had marshmallows..." Oh no, dear reader, my thoughts were something more like, "well now, that's odd. there are flames behind my stove." A second later, my confusion turned to alarm as I realised that this meant I had a kitchen fire. All my mothers tales of the dangers of gas stove came rushing to me--or not so much the tales as I seem to have been a little slow that evening--but the concept of probably death and certain maiming (which were the morals of the stories after all, I do believe).  The transition took only a second or two. I looked from my stove to my sink to my food, and in a moment of sheer brilliance, I opened the cupboard door beneath my sink and turned off the gas. I stood with relief, certain that without the gas, there would be no fire. But the golden flames still peaked over the top of my stove. 

At this point all I could think was "beat it with a towel." However, this also struck me as a bad idea. Firstly, I couldn't reach the fire, it was behind my stove. Secondly, I was pretty certain that I'd only manage to catch the towels on fire. Thirdly, they are not my towels to destory, I'm only borrowing them.

So I did what any self-respecting person facing an oven fire would do. I ran to Karen and Renee's I dashed into their part of the house calling for Karen or Renee. I saw Renee, and called out--My stove is on fire and I don't know what to do!  in the most desperate cry I could muster. 

Then I stood there for a second, not sure what else to do and beginning to relinquish myself to the fact that I was probably going to burn down the entire house.

Karen and Renee dashed for the fire extinguisher in Karen's car (This is a mandatory fixture according to the Gabonese Government). Then I ran back to my apartment to move dinner off the stove because I had a sudden fear of it being ruined by the fire extinguisher (or the fire).

To my utter glee I discovered that the fire had ended. As I considered the incident, it became apparent that of course the fire would not end the second I stopped the gas. Karen and Renee came running in to my rescue with the fire extinguisher and Karen admitted she didn't know how to use it anyway. So we read the instructions and learned how. We also learned how the fire extinguisher had expired in 1999. 

I'm rather glad the fire went out on its own. I'm also thrilled that my gas tank didn't explode, since it's rather near the oven, and mostly full.

It was exciting. We decided I should not use my stove or oven until this little spontaneous, indoor, campfire has been further looked into. Luckily, my dinner had cooked to perfection--it still had a few minutes on the timer, but the extra heat from the open flames must have sped it up. 

So this leaves me with a toaster oven, microwave and crockpot. Seeing as I tend to forget about the predicament all day, and all my meat is frozen, I was left to google vegetarian crock-pot dishes this evening once I was hungry for dinner. The result is my lentil and rice curry soup with raisins and all the vegetables I had in my freezer. It's pretty tasty. But I'm too hungry to wait for the rice to finish cooking. I think the crunch adds a nice variety to the texture though.

Till next time (when I will really try to turn this "cooking in Gabon" blog around onto some topic other than my culinary adventures, but so I said last week.)

Jessica

P.S. since I was adding that picture, I couldn't resist a few more:

Bugbites after going to church in Mandji--and I practically took a bath in bug spray before going!

A little gecko I found in my bathroom. Normally they're on the ceiling or right next to it and I can't get a good picture, but this one went darting across my floor and I found him hiding and took a good picture. I found an even tinier one on my shower curtain this morning.

Meditations Upon an Unplanned Repast (or thoughts inspired by grab bag meal)

So having played butcher, I turned vegetarian for a night and made veggie burgers. Mostly because I didn't have thawed meat, and did have multiple cans of beans. So a quick search on allrecipes.com inspired me to make my own bean patties.



They actually turned out really well. I'm still a fan of meat, but as far as desiring something that doesn't leave me thinking I forgot the main course, these are a good way to go. Here's a lovely picture...because I was so excited about them!

Anyway, lest this sound like a cooking blog I'd better move on to some other type of subject.

like...Joy.

That's what I've been thinking about a lot lately. I have realised that even in the past two months my entire outlook on life has completely changed. I came here, knowing(most days) that God was calling me here, and terrified of what was going to happen. I think you could say that terror was fair enough, what with having less than ideal health and not all the money I needed and the growing realisation that I had never really gotten myself into something without someone else I knew doing it too. Maybe this is a side effect of being the middle child. I was always old enough to do these with Phillip, or "one of the girls" or still young enough to do things with Kristi. I don't know. But I do know that I was a bit frightened.

I got here, and since I hadn't even been able to think of anything to expect, I generally found that I wasn't too surprised at life. A few things surprised me here and there. But generally I just found myself counting.

How many days have I been here? How many days till I go home? How long till I have to figure out what to do next year? How long till I go to Bongolo? How long till I go back to Libreville...?

Always, I was asking questions entirely focused on what I wasn't doing yet.

And recently I've realised that that is pointless.

Sure, a little planning is necessary. But that's how I felt when I realised I didn't have any meat last night. "Oh no!" I thought, "What am I going to eat now? I should've thought about this before!" But I'm glad I didn't fuss over it too much before, because now I have a whole new, tasty dish I may never have tried otherwise.

This is not to say that I'm giving up meal planning. (of course, it's hard to give up what you haven't started anyway). Rather, I'm simply saying, worrying about the future really doesn't get you anywhere at all. It just makes you miss all your current opportunities. You'll never even enjoy the future, because by the time it comes around you're worrying about the next bend in the river.

Not to say I'm not worrying anymore. I still worry. But I found myself more in more catching myself, shaking it off, thanking God for already arranging provisions for the future so that I can enjoy what he's given me right now. That's what I'm trying to say with my bad cooking analogy. Instead of worrying about what's for dinner, look around and see what God's put in the pantry, because maybe he's got a whole new recipe for you to try. He know's you'll love it, even though it looks a little like vomit burgers (they do too...I'll admit it).

So I'm done with purposefully worrying about life. I think I'll just enjoy searching out all the little hints that God leaves around me to remind me that he's looking out for me and giving me better things than I can imagine, let alone plan for!

Well, so much for leaving the food topic. And sorry for a potentially confusing/cliché post. I find that I keep learning profound things, and then as soon as I attempt to put words to them, they turn into the phrases I've heard all my life. But now I understand the deep emotion and understanding that first gave them voice and led to their continual use till they mean nothing at all to us anymore.

à tout à l'heure,

Jessica

A fine dinner--Jungle Style (except, probably not really, but it sounds good)

PREFACE:

You probably didn't think a post would need a preface (maybe I've been reading too much Dickens of late). Well this one gets one, necessary or not. 

All that to say--The following events happened the the last eve of October, and I haven't put them up because I need to get on particular fabulous picture from Joanna, but I decided to just post this now, anyway, and I'll add said photo later--believe me, it's one you won't want to miss folks. 

31 October 2008

 

Today I saw a dead buffalo. Actually, I just saw parts of him. At about 11:30 I heard someone calling my name. I thought maybe it was Karen so I went to check the hall between our houses, but no one was there. The calling continued and then I had a genius idea: maybe someone is at the front door!

 

Sure enough, Joanna was outside. I was a bit confused since even though we had planned on me coming over for lunch it was still 30 minutes till noon, but she quickly explained that there was a buffalo being cut up by the hospital and sold for meat. I grabbed my camera and we rushed down to the hospital, with Joanna’s already bought chunk of meet in a black bag at my feet. This was terribly exciting!

 

We got down there and sure enough, there was a small crowd of people around a few men with Machetes cutting up pieces of meat and weighing them on a little scale. 

In the pickup truck behind them, the huge heard of the buffalo lay. I made sure it was ok to take a picture and got my camera out. As I was about to snap a picture, a man standing off to the side with a taxi, started shaking his finger at me. I pointed him out to Joanna and he came over and started talking rapidly in French (actually, it may not have been rapid, it all sounds rapid to me, unless every syllable is said as an individual word, but then I get confused because I don’t recognize the words, which are actually syllables) Anyway, I did catch the word “ferme” (closed) and that he was unhappy. He flashed a little card at us. And I quickly figured out what Joanna confirmed a few seconds later: Apparently it is not bull killing season, and these people should not  have killed the buffalo because it’s season is over (here is where I think “ferme” came in) and they shouldn’t be cutting this buffalo up and selling it there. The man was apparently a ranger, or worked with the park rangers or something. I’m not sure why this meant I couldn’t take a picture, since shooting a picture is entirely different from shooting a picture. And I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to step on any toes, and soon after this the ranger/taxi driver and the men cutting meat started yelling at each other. Now I’ve been here long enough to know that yelling Gabonese does not always equal angry Gabonese. But when one is accusing another of illegal business and the accused is standing there holding a machete, I know enough about human nature to decide not to push anything. (OK, so I wasn’t really fearing for anyone’s life, but still, you don’t really want caught up in the middle of angry people anywhere) So since Joanna had pictures and the meat was all sold, we hopped back in the car and slowly drove past the truck so I could see the buffalo’s head.

 

Then we headed back up. I ate lunch with the Thelanders and we discussed the buffalo meat in the fridge. Joanna had offered me the opportunity to cut up the pieces before she gave the job to Ernestine (her house help). I was happy to give it a whack (pun fully intended—sorry!). So we looked through some cookbooks, got Ernestine’s opinion on what part of the bull we were dealing with (Rump/Thigh—the hip socket gave that away). After lunch, I went to. 

Joanna was a little grossed out by the whole ordeal. So I had to contain my excitement and not discuss all the nitty-gritty details about the bones and marrow and tendons (or ligaments...I always get them mixed up, and I don’t know if it was attached bone to bone or bone to ligament anyway, because I only had one end...). There was a really neat blood vessel or something too. It was squishy, and quite large. While I sawed off the bones and tried to get little chunks of meat apart, Joanna and the kids prepared mushrooms and bullion and all kinds of delicious smelling things to make some kind of mushroom beef.

 

Luke and Sarah love to cook, and here they are quite absorbed in watching the meat brown.

It was tough stuff to cut. That bull had some strong muscles. It reminded me off cutting up cow eyes in dad’s office. Mostly the smell was similar, but I was equally shocked both times at how difficult it was to cut through the tissues. Of course, it makes since. I mean, the animal can’t have it’s muscle and fat and whatever else was there just falling all apart inside his body, so why would it get all weak and easy to cut just because it was no longer protected by skin?  Still for an idea of how difficult this was, I was using Cutco (I’m pretty sure anyway) knives, and it was still hard work to get through that stuff.

 

Anyway, it was quite a bit of fun. I didn’t even cut off a finger! I felt ingenious at one point though. The last piece of meat was wrapped around a huge tendon/ligament. I wanted to get it off that because it wasn’t going to be any good to eat. But the tendon/ligament was too slippery to hold onto, so I couldn’t get a good grip anywhere to cut both pieces of meat off the thick white strip. Then I thought of a thumb whole! So I spent the next 30 seconds boring out a hole in the tendon/ligament that I could slip my thumb into. I had no worries of the hole splitting because I could barely get the knife through it. It worked like a dream! I could stick my thumb through the hole, giving me a great grip and a good chance to filet the meat off the tough white strip.

 

So no more flower smelling for this Ferdinand the bull, but I sure am looking forward to the tasty meal we’re about to eat!

 

***later***

 

So it was really tasty!

 And I wrote this whole post calling it a bull and thinking it was the strangest cow I had ever seen. But then, after getting to the Thelander’s for dinner, everyone was then calling it a buffalo. This makes much more since, and it also makes my Ferdinand comment less clever. But, such is life.

 

Anyway, it was yummy, I get some of the leftovers too. Hurray!

Prayer Request

Just a quick a request tonight...or this morning here.

I could use some prayers for my health. My body seems to be getting into a troublesome cycle with the fibromyalgia. Starting with caving, I feel hard at one point (I've got a great bruise to prove it). The whole thing was apparently a little taxing, which I expected. But I think the physical stress combined with being so tired as set off a flare.

So now I'm having trouble sleeping, which leaves me exhausted, and when this happens I start to hurt. Today my brain was muddled all day and I'm having a really hard time focusing and thinking.

I'm doing great emotionally, which is good. But I'm in a lot of pain, and my body is exhausted by I'm not sleepy, and when I hurt like this, without feeling sleepy, I can't get rest, and then the cycle of exhaustion and pain just spur each other on. 

Please pray that I get some rest, that I can think, and that I don't get grumpy and frustrated meanwhile. Also, please pray that God keeps reminding me of his love and care for me through this--those can be hard to remember when I'm hurting  and can't think sometimes.

Thanks so much for all your support!

Jess

My own Exploration Day

Really quick update because it's late and I'm exhausted and had a big day working on 4 hours of sleep. Which, really, hasn't been quite as bad as I expected. But, I know if I don't update now, it will be another week!

Lots of visitors/teams have been coming in lately! 

Tim came down Friday and left early Saturday. It was good to see him--it's funny because I don't feel like I've been here long, but I feel like I've been gone from Libreville for an eternity. Time, for all its preciseness, is really so relative sometimes.

I was up much to early Saturday because Huyn stayed here so she and her husband Tim (another Tim, apparently, everyone with that name comes to Gabon) drove up to Libreville, from where they are heading on to Cameroon where they will work at the hospital there. They were really cool, I'm sad they have left! 

Friday night I also played a fun game of Settlers of Catan at the Thelander's with Joanna and Keir, Tim Brokopp, and Renee, Carolyn and I. It was really fun. It's a long game though, and we didn't get finished until midnight.

I came back and then was so very excited about the next mornings incredibly awesome activities (don't you wonder what I got into now?) that I couldn't fall asleep till 2 am. But on the bright side there was a nice big storm, so there was lots of amazingly loud claps of thunder to listen to, and the rain, and flashes of lightning to add a lovely visual effect to all the audio. 

Then, I woke up at 5:50, in time to say goodbye to Tim and Huin as they were heading out with their suitcases. 

I couldn't really fall asleep after that, try as I might. But I somehow still managed to be late for my 9am meeting time to go CAVING!

I went with one of the teams that came in recently. Kalle and Olivier were our Gabonese guides, and the funny part was that I was the only of the Americans to know any French. So I got the job of translator. That went stunningly. (At one point I said something that I thought would get my point across, of course, the sentence as a whole made no sense at all. Kalle and Olivier repeated it and cracked up, so I lamented that my French is terrible, I do think I said that correctly at least!) Let me explain.

Our guides were young, and looked like they could probably play sports all day. Our group was night quite so young and spry. Because of the torrential rains last night everything was wet and muddy. Really muddy. Thick slippery mud. So, now imagine a nice group of about 7 Americans walking into this dark slippery cave. The team had brought along bottles of water and paper cups and various odds and ends they thought might be nice. Then they find that this is no Mammoth cave guided tour complete with built in lights and gaurdrails. No, my friend, we were underflashlighted and in the dark, crawling over rocks, crawling past holes, slithering through tunnels and falling left and right. It would have been hysterical I think if I hadn't felt like someone was going to fall and break something. This wouldn't have been so bad except I think I was the main person who felt like we were more likely to leave the cave with someone in a few more pieced than they came. 

Our guides took off, others lagged behind, a few gave in and walked back, another sat down to wait (in the dark with all the bats). A while in people were starting to see things a bit more like me and thinking maybe it was time to go back. Now the trick was telling the guides that we wanted to go back. I don't really know what I said. I tried a lot of things. They all ended in the guides taking off further and further into the cave, which was not exactly what I was trying to suggest.

After a little while I pieced together that we were going towards the exit, our guides were not going to turn around for anything, and I was mostly sure that we would leave the same way we came in. The only remaining troublesome part was whether we would run into our team member who was still sitting in the dark with the bats somewhere. I wasn't sure if I knew the word for "waiting" and our guides seemed to think she had walked out. 

In the end, everything turned out just fine. We eventually found the water that team decided to ditch, and we found our patiently waiting team member. No one broke anything (that I'm aware of) and the caves were beautiful (the cave crickets were not. One I saw had antennae that were (I kid you not) 8 inches long). Kalle pointed out the beginning formations of stalagmites (ground) and we saw huge stalactites. We saw holes, and bats, and little rivulets. It was a great time, I really hope to get to go again sometime. Maybe I'll take my camera next time, but it feels less adventuresome when you're snapping pictures. I'm going to get some hopefully from this team anyway. 

After a quick shower, I helped repackage food from the food order for some missionaries who aren't here right now with Karen, Renee, Carolyn, Joanna, and Sarah. 

This evening I was invited by the caving team to dinner with them. I learned a new card game--Hand and foot--I'm quite good at loosing it. But I think you're a bit at the mercy of the draw (and partner).

Then Mary and Trisha (the ladies on the team) went up to Joanna's for a "girls night out" movie--we were the only one's there, but it was fun. We had tea and popcorn and watched "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It was great to get to meet the team and see what they are up to on my "day off" today. 

Tomorrow I'm going to the Bongolo Church with Margariet and Huub and Rebecca...they just don't know that yet. But I'll call them in the morning. We walk anyway and they've given me a blanket invitation to tag along with them anytime, so I'm sure it will be fine. But now, I have been awake much too long with far too little sleep, so we'll bring this to a close!

Goodnight! (And feel free to email anytime about anything at all, I love to hear how everyone is doing at home!)

--Jessica

Well Baby Clinic and Reflections

Today was my first day helping out at the well baby clinic. I headed down at about 8:30 this morning, and met up with Karen ( my neighbor, and a nurse who has been here for a long time). She showed me to the clinic, and I met Silvia,

Silvia and me--you can see the baby's medical notebook opened to the growth chart where they can track his/her growth and see if it's normal or not.

 a nurse who would call a baby’s name (from a little booklet that everyone has for their medical records.) The mom would bring in the baby, undress him or her, then I would help place the baby in a little sling that is reminiscent of those plastic baby swings that look like a pair of underware. 

Getting two babies ready for weighing with their moms:

(above)Here's a teeny, tiny baby in the tiniest sling available

Here's a happy little baby also getting ready. I think this one was a boy.

Then we’d hang the baby from the scale—this is the type of scale that you see people stick a slab of steak on in movies to weigh it. And here I was hanging up little babies.

Angry hanging baby. It was kinda hard to smile next to a screaming kid knowing I could take him down if I weren't getting a picture taken. Her mom didn't seem to mind though. The moms loved seeing the pictures of their babies on my camera afterwards too, which was neat.

This is probably my favorite picture from Gabon. This little girl is adorable, and she seems to be having a good time too!

 

I learned how to figure out what the babies weighed and then I’d tell Sylvia in French—cinq kil deux cent (5 kil. 200g). Then she’d write it down and give the notebook to some other nurses who would figure out if the baby was ready for more vaccinations and then they’d notate that in the book.

 

It was fun helping. I’ve never held so many babies in such a short time! Some were big, and probably getting close to one years old, others were as young as just a few weeks. I felt a little awkward about putting the tiny babies into a sling and watching them hang there. They looked uncomfortable. And their little heads would sorta droop over. Since one of the one of the main things that strikes me about babies is the comment “Watch the head! Watch the head!” It felt wrong to not hold their head or something. But they all seemed fine.

 

African babies don’t seem to get a lot of really gentle treatment like many American babies do, this is not to say that they are abused, but their durability and resilience is certainly not under appreciated. They get tied to mom’s back and hauled around, head flopping a bit sometimes. A common game, instead of peek-a-boo is cover the babies face with your hand making loud noises and gently shake the face around. I think I’d be terrified if that were me, but they seemed pretty used to it.

 

After the babies had been weighed the stacked up all the notebooks and called them in again by name—this time for vaccinations—there was something funny, in a sense, about watching those little babies sitting on their mommy’s laps, smiling and laughing and looking around, totally clueless of what was about to happen to them. Some would cry as soon as the cottonball soaked in some kind of cleaner touched their skin, others wouldn’t cry until the needle poked them, and others waited until the injection. Only one baby didn’t cry at all for one vaccination, but when he got the second he started wailing.

 

I noticed how they had different screams and cries—but the message was always the same—they were not happy and this should not have happened. The funny thing is that it is good, and that they will be better off with that little poke than with the diseases they could get otherwise.

 

It made me think of how we will sit and talk to God, happy as pie, but sometimes when something happens that we can’t understand, something that seems awful and painful and like it shouldn’t happen we scream just like those babies. We know God, just like those babies know their mothers, and we know that He wouldn’t let something happen for us unless there was a good reason for it, but when pain strikes and feel that poke we always get upset and forget how good he has been to us. Of course, the hardest part is probably in the times that we can’t see the good. Those babies aren’t going to understand that they are getting protection from all kinds of worse dangers. They will never understand why that happened (except maybe a long, long ways down the road when they’re grown up). That’s the same for us, there are some things we’re just never going to understand at all. We look at the situation and think, this is painful, this is hard, and there is nothing good about it at all, but if we remember who our God is—a loving caring God, who has only the very best in mind for us—and if we remember all the times when we’ve seen what looks like a bad situation turn into a good one, then we can rest assured that our God who loved us yesterday and made our bad days turn into good ones will do the exact same thing today, and we can count Him to do it again tomorrow. And one day, maybe we will understand, maybe he’ll show us somewhere down the road in this life or the next. But since we know Him, we know it’s always for a reason, and that makes everything a little bit easier to swallow, even if it’s bitter medicine.

--Jessica

P.S. Plus, at home in Lima, mom and dad got a new puppy! Isn't he cute?

new puppy, Dad and Silver (who is sick and could use your prayers)

Snakes

Today, Luke handed me a little book about snakes to read. I explained that he and Sarah already know how to speak snake, so we didn't need to read that one.

Then they recanted, and said that they were wrong, and that they don't know how to speak snake.

So we read the book. Once we saw the snakes forked tongue, and I added in the parts the book skipped about their Jacobson's organ and smelling with their tongue, they suddenly lit up and started making hissing noises and saying that this was how snakes speak.

So I just thought I should right that little bit of potential confusion: Snakes do not sound like some sort of barber quartet song, they actually hiss, just like everyone thought all along.

(Also, they apparently saw a snake today. It was a dead snake. They are very excited to show it to me tomorrow. While on the topic, I saw a dead one myself about a week back on the road, covered in flies. It was tiny though, and had a white belly, and was on it's back. I couldn't get it to flip over, and there were to many flies to make a concerted effort. At some point I mentioned here  that my dad had pet snakes and that we once had one when I was little and I am now the snake expert. Who knew?)

P.S. Katie, this is a short post just for you. It was really hard, but I limited myself. :-)

School, Fish, Crockpot and Sunsets.

Today was my first day teaching. Joanna is homeschooling Luke and Sarah and ever Wednesday they have “Exploration Day.” This is my day to teach. I have a little sheet with a few activities, and a science book that we look at a two page spread in. Today we did a little bit from two days. So we learned about seeds and about trees. We did bark rubbings from trees, collected all kinds of seeds to look at (including a funny little red fuzzy berry that grows on a palm tree, an avocado, little spinner things and a pinecone), made dye by mashing up a flower and sticking a coffee filter in it to see the color, and started soaking beans that we’re going to let start growing and take apart to journal their different stages of development. I had also found instructions for growing a popcorn plant from  popcorn kernels. The kids are really excited about this one, and not having to buy popcorn kernels because they’ll be able to grow them. It was a lot of fun. I, being a good English major from a liberal arts school, was careful to make sure that this was more than just a science day. So I added a few activities. I have some art books that Joanna gave me; it shows a painting and then has some questions and a little information about the artist and background of the painting. Today one of the next paintings was by Henri Rousseau, and it was of a jungle. This fit perfectly with our tree and plant observation, so we discussed the painting of trees. So we had some art appreciation. Then we read a neat poem by e.e. cummings about a Christmas tree. I would read a stanza and then ask a question to make sure they were following since, lets face it, poetry can be a little abstract sometimes, but Luke was all over the poem. He understood it quite well; I was really impressed. After reading the poem I explained that we were going to write our own tree poem together. So we put together this little poem:

 

My Christmas Tree

By Luke and Sarah Thelander (with a tiny bit of help by Jessica Fox)

 

My Christmas tree is big and happy,

Under it the presents take a nappy.

My Christmas tree is big and tall,

But we celebrate Jesus who was small.

 

I was very proud of them. They wanted to write about a christmas tree, I guess e.e. cummings inspired them. After writing the poem, I wrote it on two little pieces of paper which they decorated with markers and glitter. Then we went outside and collected pine needles (which were huge, they were 9-12 in. long, I’ve never seen pine needles this long!) And made little frames for our poem by connecting four bunches of pine needles in the corner with red and green pipe cleaners. It was very Christmas-y, which wasn’t quite the goal, it’s a little early, but it’s fine. So then we got in our literature and fine arts.

Here's a few pictures:

Luke and Sarah on the porch at the school with the frames

 Luke hard at work trimming his frame Sarah and her frame all finished except for trimming the ends a bit

They seemed to have a great time with it all. After this we ate snack, which was funny, because we sorta forgot about it till then end, and then it was hard to get them to leave the school to come to my house where we were going to eat lunch. But we made it eventually.

 

At my house Luke and Sarah dissected the seeds on my porch while I got lunch together. Sarah got bored and ended up helping me make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while Luke drew pictures of the seeds to go with his bark rubbings. Then they both helped mix up some juice and we had lunch. Then they decided that everything in my house was a hole (strange but true, or so they told me). This was based on a discussion on which Luke decided there was a snake in my house, and I said the door was shut so they couldn’t get in. But he saw a tiny hole in my door, and decided it would come in there, and then found imaginary holes all over until my whole house was a hole. Then they decided to speak snake, which nearly drove me in sane. For your information, snakes say something like “doopy de do.” They do not hiss; that is a common misperception. After confining them to speak in only the French or English language, we walked back to their house. Bearing all the fruits of the day—bark rubbings and seed drawings, poems and frames, the beginnings of a pop corn plant, and a pine cone, avocado pit, and apple seeds ready for planting in the Thelander’s yard. 

I think on a whole it was a fantastic day. They were pretty excited about everything and seemed to have a lot of fun. I know I had a great time. I’m looking forward to next Wednesday already which is on clouds and rain and evaporation. It should be pretty applicable too, seeing as how rainy season is certainly upon us (we’re having a torrential downpour right now).

 

Another exciting part of today:

 

Joanna gave me whole fish! I now have 6-8 whole Capitane fish sitting in a trashbag in my freezer. I think I have a basic understanding of how to filet and pan-fry them. Now I just have to figure out how to get them apart without having to thaw them all so I can try one someday soon.

 

Joanna also gave me a crock-pot which I really couldn’t be more excited about. It’s probably the world’s coolest crock-pot ever. It’s a casserole dish shape around, but taller; however, the lid can be used as a casserole dish in the oven and then placed on the crock pot to keep warm, or you can remove the pot and lid to use the eating surface as a cooking surface for eggs, sandwiches and hamburgers. I’m really in awe of this crock-pot. It will also be handy because it gives me a way to cook my whole chicken. I’d heard that basically all the meat you could get here was whole chickens from Joanna. But then when we were in Lebamba shopping yesterday and I asked about meat, Joanna asked if I wanted, and I quote, “Chicken or scary meat.” I said I’d try both. So I got a chicken, and I ended up not getting scary meat this trip. Well, I did get sausage that she was not so sure about. I opted not to get the hamburger with a staple stuck inside the package. I also didn’t get any of the random cut meats that just sit unwrapped in the freezer. You can’t tell exactly what they are or really anything about them. So they are nicknamed “scary meat.” I was going to get fish, but Joanna happened to have the Capitaines in her freezer and said she’d give them to me. She was very excited to get them out of her freezer and I am very happy to have them in mine.

 

Tomorrow will be a bit of a quieter day. I’m going to go work on the library a little bit, normally I will go work at the baby clinic, but because everyone just got back from meetings in Libreville we’re going to let them get back into the swing of things before I start that.

 

However, after talking with Joanna Monday night, I mentioned that I was interested in medical missions, and she said that I’d have to sit in and watch some surgeries and maybe shadow different people at the hospital some. I’m incredibly excited about this. Then today Keir said that Monday I can come down to the hospital, meet all the PAACS residents and follow them around on rounds. Then I’ll get a tour of the hospital. I’m really incredibly excited about this! I can’t wait to get to see it all.

 Here's a picture of the sunset from  from Monday night, this is a view from my porch:

Tonight we watched the Sunset. The Sun was a bright red ball in the blue sky. I've never seen anything like it. We watched it sink behind the horizon in literally one minute. It was amazing. I've never seen the sun visibly sink like that.  

Jessica

P.S. I almost just died (well, that might be a little extreme...) walking down into my livingroom/kitchen to get peanut butter (I'm hungry). I stepped into the middle of the room and almost fell when I slipped on a huge puddle. Further inspection has shown that despite the fact that I closed the Knockles on my window, the rain got in over the top and leaked all over my livingroom floor. Luckily, it's all dried up now, and I needed to mop in there anyway. So, no problem. But very exciting for the few second when I thought I might break something!