What do you want to be when you grow up?

I can answer that! Employed!

I think I'm giving myself an ulcer stressing out about finding a job.

As it turns out there's very little in Fort Dodge (surprise!...or not) and it's hard to find something anywhere else because I need enough to pay for rent then and my loans and I'd probably have to get a car. Actually I can do most of that (except the car) as long as I don't eat.

But I still haven't found much to apply to anywhere. It would help if I had a better idea of what I was trying to do, but at least I'm open I guess.

In the past few months I have decided (and mostly undecided later) that I should become a teacher, a nurse, a physical therapist, a psychologist, a nanny, an infant care specialist (baby nanny) a designer, an artist, or a writer. But a lot of those require quite a bit more school (but I think I'd like to pay off some of my loans before I get more, besides which I can't really get a loan anymore without an income of some sort) or they require luck/talent.

I was feeling hopeful about a pharmacy technician job that I interviewed for here. But I haven't heard anything at all, and the manager really seemed to be trying to convince me that I didn't want the job. I think he wants someone who looks more stable.

So since none of that is quite working out I sit at home and I read and I write and I spend hours looking for jobs and then I fill out applications and write cover letters and I try to think of a way to go to move to Europe.

On the bright side it's nice to see Mom and Dad, and I actually like the dog now. He's beyond bizarre, but he likes me and he's soft, so it works out.

I like getting to read too. I haven't just read for fun in such a long time. Ever since I graduated I think I like reading a lot more.

Oh! I have another bit of potential good news. I applied for a job at a dress shop today for a consultant. It's part time (only every other weekend). But the owner implied that she might need more help than that. She's not sure that she'll need anyone this month, but maybe next month. All I know so far about what I would do is taking measurements. But it sounds good to me, I think it would be a lot of fun to help people pick out wedding dresses and prom dresses and bridesmaid dresses. It might not turn out though. So far everything has pretty much started out promising and then failed. Hopefully something will work out eventually!