What do you want to be when you grow up?

I can answer that! Employed!

I think I'm giving myself an ulcer stressing out about finding a job.

As it turns out there's very little in Fort Dodge (surprise!...or not) and it's hard to find something anywhere else because I need enough to pay for rent then and my loans and I'd probably have to get a car. Actually I can do most of that (except the car) as long as I don't eat.

But I still haven't found much to apply to anywhere. It would help if I had a better idea of what I was trying to do, but at least I'm open I guess.

In the past few months I have decided (and mostly undecided later) that I should become a teacher, a nurse, a physical therapist, a psychologist, a nanny, an infant care specialist (baby nanny) a designer, an artist, or a writer. But a lot of those require quite a bit more school (but I think I'd like to pay off some of my loans before I get more, besides which I can't really get a loan anymore without an income of some sort) or they require luck/talent.

I was feeling hopeful about a pharmacy technician job that I interviewed for here. But I haven't heard anything at all, and the manager really seemed to be trying to convince me that I didn't want the job. I think he wants someone who looks more stable.

So since none of that is quite working out I sit at home and I read and I write and I spend hours looking for jobs and then I fill out applications and write cover letters and I try to think of a way to go to move to Europe.

On the bright side it's nice to see Mom and Dad, and I actually like the dog now. He's beyond bizarre, but he likes me and he's soft, so it works out.

I like getting to read too. I haven't just read for fun in such a long time. Ever since I graduated I think I like reading a lot more.

Oh! I have another bit of potential good news. I applied for a job at a dress shop today for a consultant. It's part time (only every other weekend). But the owner implied that she might need more help than that. She's not sure that she'll need anyone this month, but maybe next month. All I know so far about what I would do is taking measurements. But it sounds good to me, I think it would be a lot of fun to help people pick out wedding dresses and prom dresses and bridesmaid dresses. It might not turn out though. So far everything has pretty much started out promising and then failed. Hopefully something will work out eventually!

Never mind

So nevermind that last post.

I was thinking I was going to be a nanny/governess since I went to school for three months for it. But at this point, that's looking rather unlikely really.

So here I am again!

I'm "home" in Iowa. I would say with my parents, but they're actually flying here or driving. I'm a little confused on their schedule.

At anyrate, dad had an eye conference in California and mom went with him.

So all weekend it's been me and the dog. And what a weekend it was. It really wasn't all that exciting.

I was rather certain that someone would break in and kill us both, but thankfully, I was wrong. Yay.

I did learn that Pico can fall asleep while sitting up, and I learned how to drive to the library. I almost found starbucks too, but it was hidden inside Target, and I wasn't aware of that till after I got home and looked it up again.

I found some books at the library, including Freddy and Fredericka by Mark Helprin. I read a trilogy he wrote for youth while at Nanny school because it was illustrated by Chris Van Allsburg on whom I was writing a report. They were pretty good. Helprin would come to Hillsdale and teach creative writing classes and do lectures and things. I never actually made it to them, which I always regretted, but the connection through Hillsdale made me interested in his books.

Freddy and Frederika is quite good so far. It seems to defy description so far other than being a very long book (550 pages) with very ridiculous situations involving the fictional prince and princess of Wales. It's been quite funny so far, but it wasn't really what I expected after the Swan Lake trilogy I read or what I would have thought it would be considering the Hillsdale connection.

I've been knitting too. It's a lot of fun, but I mostly rip it all out and start over because of tinsy little mistakes. Actually it's rather exasperating. I don't know where the mistakes come from and I'm so very careful, and the more careful I am the further I get before some mistake sprouts out of the middle somewhere and I have no idea how to fix it or go back without ripping it all out and starting over.

But here comes the wonders of a library---I looked up knitting on the library catalog and found a book all about how to fix knitting mistakes without ripping them out. The only foreseeable problem I'm facing right now is I don't know how the mistake came about so I'm not sure what fix to use. But with any luck I'll figure that all out and avoid knitting the same project for the rest of my life.

Lately I've decided that maybe I have a problem with follow through. I have about twelve-hundred books started (well probably more like 50) and three times that amount of crafts and at least 4 instruments that I've been intending to learn for the past 10 years or so. Maybe this is just part of being human, but it's really bothering me. The problem is, everything takes a long time, and I think as a modern human I want everything to be done as fast as I think of doing it. As soon as I think it would be nice to read Anna Karenina I want it finished after a nice half an hour of reading. And when it's not I move on to the next book on the list anyway. And it's the same with everything else. When I pick up my mandolin I want to be proficient and when I'm not I get annoyed because I have no idea how to get there and so I put it away and listen to Chris Thile instead.

Because of this I'm bent on learning some things well. I'm not sure what they are. I'm going to finish my knitting project. I know that one. And I want to learn how to play the mandolin, piano, and guitar. But I think that might being biting off a bit much, which means mandolin will probably win because it's mine and it's portable. And I want to finish a lot of books, both ones that I have and haven't yet started. Which means that I think generally I'm going to have to find a way to be more efficient with my free time so that I can accomplish all this.

I've found that lists help me a lot. I love crossing things off lists. I have to break everything down so that I get to cross of things often otherwise I get annoyed and give up, but I think it's a start.

Speaking of which, I need to go transfer laundry and fold the dry stuff...which is on my list :-)

Jessica

Private Blog now

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A little bit closer

I've gotten a lot of the paperwork done for the application of the school.

Yesterday I got my Iowa drivers licence (It's official folks...I'm definitely a resident of Iowa. Until I pack up and resume my vagabond-like existence, that is) and a driving record for the school application.

Now I just need fingerprints so I can send that off to the FBI and BCI, police clearance, a physical, and then a notarized document confirming that I haven't had any convictions and that's it!

I've got my psychological/socialogical assessment tonight on the phone. I'm pretty confident that I'm not insane or too bizarre, so I'm not particularly worried. Maybe I should be? Who knows.

Yesterday Morning Kristi and I had been recruited to babysit for outreach meeting that a lady in our church was putting on for young moms in the area. KRisti and I showed up. The ladies running it showed up. Even the ladies speaking and demonstrating ventriloquism (yep, you read that right) showed up. Unfortuneately, no young moms showed up. So Kristi and I got to eat the breakfast they had prepared and we got to listen to the Ventriloquist (which wasn't particularly fantastic, but I was inspired, so I got books on it at the library. I used to do puppets in highschool so why not step it up a bit and come out from behind the curtain WITH the puppet? Anyway, who doesn't want a nanny ventriloquist?) and to the speaker.

Then there was some luncheon planned by the same people. I'm a little fuzzy on what that was all about. I just know that Kristi and I were supposed to be at Trinity something church across from the highschool and on 10th Ave S in the Nursery to watch two sets of twins. We were excccited to actually watch kids this time. We found our way to a church that fit the bill and then waited. And waited. And waited. At 12, an hour after the luncheon started, we came home. There wasn't anything exciting to play with in the Nursery anyway.

After we got home there was a tornado warning which was pretty exciting. Actually it wasn't at all. Kristi was worried and Mom made us go in the basement (she stayed up stairs looking out the window, so eventually Kristi and I just joined her instead.) Pico couldn't figure out what was going on, so I played with him. I did make sure that I had my application down there with me. I mean, if I'm going to live through a tornado that destroys our house I am not going to have to re-do all that paperwork too! Yikes. But nothing came of it. Our house wasn't damaged. No trees fell down. On the whole it was quite dissapointing after all the terribly magnificent storms in Bongolo. I'm glad I suppose because it's a very residential area and if we had gotten to see a tornado it would've been very bad for someone, and while I have always thought it would be a rather exciting adventure to have your house demolished above your head and then fight your way to safety on foot through an wind-ransacked town I do realise that most people don't really want anything of the sort to happen. (And I don't want anyone to die, so I guess my idealized tornado strike is really far-fetched and would be much worse than I imagine, but all the same, it sounds exciting) But for everyone else, I am quite happy. I don't understand all the fuss about tornados that never materialize though.

After that we did go out and get the aforementioned license and driving record and we went to the library and got the also aforementioned ventriloquism books (and a few on church history. Yup, I'm a nerd. But I can't help it, if I have the opportunity to learn I may as well take it!)

In other news, I went to the eye docs on Monday and got screened and set up for Lasik. Yay. So now I won't have to wear glasses. Haha. I know don't really wear them now anyway, but now I won't need them, and that will be fabulous. They're only going to do my right eye because my left eye is really on the edge, if they had done lasik on my left eye and the end result was what my current prescription is then dad said they would be encouraging me to leave it as that. But if I get my right eye done and can't stand my left eye because it's worse now, then they'll do that too. Dad isn't doing it though, it's Dr. Bliegard. So Monday morning I'll be sitting before the firing squad and getting my eye lasared. It's pretty exciting! This was all started off by the realisation that was get a significant discount on it since Dad works there. Hurray for perks of the trade.

Alright well I'm off to achieve whatever I can before bedtime tonight. I love new days!

Tally Ho!

The interview went great. The school looks fantastic and they were very encouraging about making everything work out in time for this upcoming session.

The trip out was great too. It was really nice to see Karl, Bev, Carol and Eric. It's so great to see family again! We saw Grandma Ruth too one afternoon. And then on are way home we ate lunch with Marcella and Elisa (I met her in Bongolo--it was fun meeting up on this side!). Then we visited with Marcella and her family for a bit. We got to hear they baby's heartbeat! That was pretty amazing. Marcella is due in 4 weeks, so as her mom put it, it could be anywhere from 2-6 weeks now!

The drive back was pretty uneventful, although overall I think we drove something like 30 hours and then some!

So now that we're back I've been working on getting all kinds of documents and copies and whatnot ready so I can be in Cleveland all ready to go on the 6th of July! It's strange to be heading off so soon after getting back. So it's two weeks until I head out again, of course it's not like I'm going to Africa or Mexico or anything :-)

The best part about all this is that this means I will get to work with kids (which I love) and it should pay pretty well, and that means that I get to have fun and in a little while I'll be free enough to do more missions work or wherever God leads at that point! Anyway, being free from loans sounds fabulous, and working with kids sounds great. The school will probably be a lot of fun I think too. It sounds like some mix of college and playing with kids and art classes. I don't know what wouldn't be great about it.

So now I just need to get my Iowa's drivers license (now that I "live" here :-p) get cleared by the FBI and local police and pack up to move away again!

On the Road Again...

So tomorrow morning Mom, Kristi and I are headed back out to Ohio. Too bad we don't just live there still! But really, 10-12 hours in the car is so much fun :-p I'm really not complaining though. Our roads are fast and smooth and the car is quite nice.

After driving all day tomorrow the plan is to stay with Uncle Karl and Aunt Bev. From there we'll drive up to Cleveland area Tuesday morning where I'll get to see the Nanny/Governess school I'm applying too and I'll have an interview. After that it's back to Uncle Karl and Aunt Bev's for a little while.

I think Thursday we're going to head to Toledo and see Marcella and hopefully Elisa (who I met in Bongolo) but I need to let her know that... Mom is thinking we'll stay the night in Toledo and then it will be back off home again Friday! We may drop by Lima in there somwhere but I'm thinking that is not likely. I'm hoping to come out to school early (if I end up going) before it starts July 6th and maybe making a proper visit back to Lima.

Please pray that this visit goes well! I'm praying about if this is where God wants me and I'm honestly not getting any particularly clear leading about where to go. But it does look like a good opportunity and hopefully after working for a while I can get my loans payed off so I'm free to work towards whatever it is I'm working towards!

P.S. If I'm in town with anyone else, feel free to email/facebook me if you want to get together! I'm trying to see everyone but it's hard now that I live in the wrong part of the country :-/ On the bright side this trip is quite flexible so hopefully I'll get to see some friends!

Things I notice

Now that I'm back there are a few things that have stood out to me that didn't use to phase me at all.

• I'm freezing here. A sweatshirt in low 80s is tolerable--if it's sunny. But basically I'm just cold. I think in part because it's somewhere between 60 and 85, which at it's highest is about the same or towards the cool end of what I'm used to. And 60 is just cold. But I think I'm adjusting...to having constant goosebumps at least.
• Church is short. It's also pretty tame. The short isn't all bad, but I miss dancing. I also miss everyone praying out loud.
• Food here is really good. Especially salad. Which seems to be my favorite new food.
• All that French I learned is not very useful here. And no one understands what I'm talking about when I throw out random phrases here and there.
• Driving here is amazing. It's so smooth. It's so fast. It's so orderly. Just amazing. Now I just have to remember to start buckling up again...
• Stores are mind boggling. So much stuff everywhere.
• I feel like the richest person ever.
• It all feels a lot more normal than I think it maybe should.

Past, Present, and Future

So I've been home a little while and I promised a lot of people I'd keep up with this blog even though I'm not in Gabon. So I'll warn you now that I'll probably change the name (but not the address...since that's just my name) and the look, because a new name and a new look are inspiring.

Home is nice, but it's not really home-like. My parents moved to Iowa while I was in Gabon (in December). So coming home meant going to a house I'd never seen in my life, meeting a new dog that I had never pet, going to a new church, meeting a million new people, being introduced to a new grocery store chain (Hyvee...it's kinda a weird name but a nice store) and trying to remember that I'm in Iowa and not Ohio. On the whole it's not bad at all, but it is not the home I'm used to!

Before coming to Iowa I spent a few days in NYC with Heather. That was amazing. Time Square is gross though. Especially after Africa. It's nauseating. But I'm a fan of amazing food in NY and Coney Island. Heather and I were the only ones screaming bloody murder on the Ferris wheel at Coney Island, but I'm not sure why. All I have to say is do NOT go on the swinging cages (or whatever you're supposed to call them). You may die. Or wish that you were dead, anything to not have to keep swinging wildly with nothing to hold on to. Eek. It makes my blood run cold just remembering the terror. Here we are, absolutely terrified:

After 2 and a half days in New York I flew to MN where Mom, Dad, Kristi, and my Aunt Rita and Uncle Eric picked me up. Because it was memorial day they got there just about the same time I did. I thought I wouldn't see them till after the baggage claim part for some reason so I was terribly surprised when I saw mom and Kristi staring over a balcony at the baggage claim as I exited a long hallway. They kept staring down there (apparently looking to see if they'd missed me) and then they looked at me, and then went back to looking for me below. I guess the braided hair and purple african ensemble threw them off a bit. But just before I gave them both a hug they recognized me (or Kristi did, mom wasn't sure who she was hugging at first). It was nice to see them all and Aunt Rita made us a great dinner and we went on a walk before we drove the 3 hours Iowa.

The next day we drove out to Fort Wayne to see Grandpa Dick and Grandma Sue and Phillip and Marcella who were also in Ft. Wayne getting their car worked on. We ended up staying there a while longer than expected as the place kept finding parts that needed ordered. It was nice to get to see everyone there though. And thankfully their car is now running well!

After a few days in Fort Wayne we drove to Toledo where Marcella's family lives. The next day Phillip flew out to Spain for research. Marcella is staying with her family while Phillip is gone for a month.

We drove down to Lima and got to see some friends, which I was super excited about. It was a short visit, but I was so glad we got to go!

Then we drove back to Fort Dodge the next day after breakfast with more friends.

During all this time I talked with mom and dad and we determined that for financial reasons going to Mexico isn't actually going to pan out. I'm really sad about this. I was terribly nervous about the whole thing but also excited. Still, I think everything will work out just fine.

My current plan is to try and find a summer job here while I work on applying to a Nanny and Governess school. It includes 3 months of training and then they'll help me get a job. It will be a good way to pay off school loans and I'm really very excited about getting to work with kids more.

I loved watching Luke and Sarah and while I'm sure it will be a rather different situation I'm glad for all that I learned there and for the chance to do something similiar while being able to pay off loans so I can eventually get to the missionfield somewhere.

For now though, I'm just working on applications and unpacking. It's not terribily exciting. Plus I got this doozy of a cold which had me laid out for part of yesterday and today. But I've decided I should be better tomorrow, hopefully my body will decide to cooperate.

Alright, it's 1am, and since coming back I keep waking up at 6 or 7 so I'd better go to sleep before it's time to get up!

Jessica

Reunions and more goodbyes!

Tonight was an incredibly fabulous night. I got to see most of the people that I knew here in Libreville at a dinner party that Mamma Jeannine put together. She was there and her husband Pasteur Jean Marc and Joseph who drives them places and for a little while their son Yoann was there too. Pasteur Jacob was there too and mamma Perrine and Christine, they work with the Mobile medical clinic and I helped them in the pharmacy part of these trips about a million years ago when I was last in Libreville! 

It was neat because I was able to finally talk with them all! My ability to speak French is so much greater than when I was here last! I remember sitting in that same room and only being able to catch words here and there and not being able to say much more than, "how are you." And tonight I understood pretty much everything. I was able to actually talk with them! It was really amazing.

They  made incredible food, which is no surprise really. I felt to special though! They really went all out. They even gave me a necklace and a blue dress as a gift! It was so kind! 

So we all sang and ate and talked and prayed and it was really fantastic. 

In the car on the way back I got to talk with a new nurse here, Erickan who graduated from the nursing program in Bongolo. He was really nice and it was neat because I could carry on a whole conversation with him! Hurray. 

On the way back we also got the van stuck in a ditch and everyone had toget out and we had to help push it out. That was pretty exciting! On the way to dinner it felt like we almost tipped the whole thing over. We kept scraping the bottom and the bumper on all these holes. It was a crazy ride. Thankfully, we all made it out safely! 

Today we also got to go to Mon Buet, the big open air market here. It was fun, it's so chaotic there and there is so much to see. We went with the straws after eating lunch at their house (which was amazing! Grilled Cheese, with real american cheese! Yum.)

I also got my Visa de sortie today. That was easy we walked in, I showed the lady my carte desejour and she handed my passport with the visa de sortie and we were done. It took about 1 minute. There was almost no one there so that was very different than the packed house when we went to start the process last week!

Alright, tomorrow I'm repacking and there are some meetings here and then I think Tim and Meredith and Leanne have their French lesson. Dinner is over at the Straws and then we pick up some of the new interns at the aiport at midnight! So....it's busy here. I'll write next when I get a chance!

à la prochaine,

Jessica

So long, farewell...

So I'm enjoying my last few hours in Bongolo feeling like Aerosmith's song about insomnia. I don't want to miss a thing. I don't want to leave actually.

So I'm sitting in my room with the light on enjoying the fan and listening to the thunder rolling in another storm.

It's been a fabulous few days back here. I haven't posted or really called home because I keep figuring I can do that later and enjoy being here now.  

Well the power just went out... so much for the light and fan.

I suppose i'm just posting to say that I am leaving Bongolo tomorrow (today really...I need to go to sleep!) and I don't want to. Even if the power does go off, and there are cockroaches infesting the house again, and a new mouse in the kitchen, and  a million other less than fabulous things about this place.

When it comes right down to it, despite those things the people I've met here are absolutely amazing. They've become instant family. Really. Everyone here feels like family. And I am heartbroken to be leaving it all behind. 

Don't get me wrong, I really like my real family at home too and I am going to be thrilled to see them. But right now Gabon, Africa feels like home. And it hurts to leave your home behind, especially when you know this may be it. 

I never dreamed I would get so attached to the people here an to this place in the short time I've been here, but I have.

Before I lament my sorrow too much, I think I will cut myself off and give you a quick rundown of the itinerary since I'm not sure there will be much posting for a week! Then you'll start getting my remarks as I rethink through everything from this trip!

Tomorrow morning Philippe is driving Carolyn and I to Mouila. We'll take a plane from there to Libreville. I'll be there until Thursday night, when I fly out to Paris at about 10pm. I have a short layover in in France and then fly to NYC. I'm taking advantage of the neccessary layover in NY and staying there for a few days with a friend. Monday morning I fly to Minnesota where my mom and dad and Kristi are all going to pick me up and where I'll hopefully get to see Aunt Rita and Uncle Eric before we drive to Fort Dodge, Iowa and I see our new home for the first time and meet the new dog!

I'd really appreciate your prayers for the travel! And I have a kinda yucky infected bug bit that is really sore! Please pray that it will heal and that it will not get any worse while I'm traveling!

A la prochaine,

Jessica

Libreville Encore (and ensuing thoughts)

So I'm back in L-ville.

It's nice, the drive was something else.

It deserves it's own post. But so do a lot of things and really I don't put the time into this blog that I would need to if I were going to write all the amazing posts that I have in my head. It's sad, but true and today I need to go repack because my bag for home is mostly full and I got much larger souveniours then I was originally thinking. But with my mad haggling skills (which means pick a low price and then stick to it until they give it to me for whatever I want (or come up just a touch and demand two...) I was able to get a lot more for my money than I thought. Details aren't going to happen though because that ruins the fun of getting home and giving things away! I didn't get the 4 foot tall carved stone elephant though. Just didn't seem like I coul get that home :-p

The most bizarre thing about being back in the 'ville is seeing civilization. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty content country bumpkin. I was quite satisfied with everything in Bongolo and Lebamba. It seemed to me that we had everything and more that we could need. Lebamba seemed like a happening place to me and we weren't lacking much.

Then I we arrived in Libreville. It was the same old Libreville but I felt like I was in a whole new world (cue song). It's huge. Really huge. There are white people I don't know here. And I stare at them like I've never seen one before. (which is weird, I know, since I could just look in the mirror.) But there is something that is just funny about it.

And the stores! My first afternoon back we were killing a little time about town and dropped in to CK2 (say-kay-doo, not to be confused with Cécado...) it's a everything but food kind of store. I felt like I was in shock seeing appliances and lamps and irons and huge tvs for sale. It's quite a bit different from Lebamba's little mom and pop style stores.

I'm adjusting back. But it's just a bit strange to see this stuff again. I remember coming here and having more of an impression of what was not here, and now it's funny to realise how much there is available here!

I'm really glad that I was able to come up for these few days with the Thelanders. Even the drive, though not entirely plesant, was fabulous in it's own way.

I felt awful most of the way here. The first part being the worst. I made it an hour or two in back with the kids. The whole time I was frantically staring out of much as the front window I could see and willing myself to not throw up. Then Joanna switched seats with me and let me sit in front. I felt really bad taking her seat since she felt bad too, but it's probably good, because I don't think I would've made it much longer in back.

The first part of the road is bumpy dirt roads filled with crevices and holes. Then after Lamberene (I think) you get to paved road. That was weird to see also. This nice paved and painted two lane road winding (and I do mean winding...) through the jungle.

It was facinating to get this view of Gabon. You drive right through all these villages and towns. There are kids walking along the road that we're flying down. Mammas and girls washing out the laundry and laying it on the grass and edge of the road to dry in the sun. Goats everywhere. A live turtle hung from a stick stuck in a barrel on the side of the road for sale. Monkeys and bananas and even a purse were all displayed the same way a different points.

It's all mostly things that I have become so very used to. It looks familiar. It's simple and it's homy and it's a hard life, but I'm going to miss being around it. I talked with Keir about how my views of the coutry and life have changed since coming here. It was neat to try and articulate those ideas, although I had a hard time getting most of them out.

As I'm getting closer and closer to leaving I people have been asking me questions about what I've learned and if I acomplished what I came to do.

And I have to say yes and no to the last one. Because I think in so many ways I didn't come with anything to acomplish. I didn't set out to change the world or to start a new program or begin a revival or to do any one thing in particular. I came because God said, "go." I had no idea what I was getting into or why. But looking back I can see why. I can see how God knew me and God knew what needed done here and he made a perfect match. I can see that God had things he wanted me to learn that I might not have listened for in the U.S. He showed me things that I'm not sure I would've ever seen while living in a busy place that satiate every desire before you even have it. I learned what trust really is, and what real joy looks like and that our God is far bigger than any one country or culture or problem.

It's funny to be going home soon, a few souveniours in the bag, and a million memories captured in my heart and in photos. A lot of friends more, many who I'll probably never see again this side of Heaven.

There's still a part of me that wants to say, "why? What did I do?" But I think God's bigger than doing something. He's taught me things and he's acomplished what he wanted to acomplish. I have no idea what that is. I maybe be able to point at a few more obvious brushstrokes, but the whole picture is really lost on me. All I know is that I feel satisfied in a way that no answer or bullet point list or slideshow could ever express. I followed God here and now I'm following him home and I've learned that following him is the very best place that I can ever be--no other circumstances or answers necessary. Now I'm just praying that I never, ever forget.

Maybe I should've held off on that till I really leave. But hey, you never know when you have time to write what. So here it is now!

Back to School

I am so glad I have a fabulous roommate who remembers things in the morning. I am not much of a morning person, I love the morning, but I normally sleep through as much of it as I can. This makes me sad, I would love to be a morning person because I tend to enjoy it when I am awake, it's just that attaining that awake stage is very difficult for me before 9.

All the same, I woke up this morning very confused with Lisa knocking on my door. I couldn't figure out why she was knocking on my door and telling me it was 6:30 until my brain started comprehending English again and heard her say, "don't you need to leave at 7?"  Then the fact that I was going to school with Lyse (I've been spelling her name wrong--Liz is now Lyse).

So the day started off with a dash and is just now slowing down at 5 (no worries, it's not over yet still :-p)

I made it down to the cabinet dentaire (dentist office) at the hospital where I was meeting Lyse. I was there by 7:04. Not bad really since I managed a shower and breakfast and to collect a trillion things to drag with me, just in case. 

About the time I was wondering if I missed her, Lyse showed up. We headed off to School as Lyse was explaining that when she was coming everyone was asking where she was going and she just told them, "to get my sister" And when everyone would ask "who? who?" she would just repeat, "to get my sister." It was quite clear that she was happy as pie that I was coming with her! She also told me that everyone was fighting over where I should sit once I did get there, but she said I wanted to sit with her (quite true, Lyse speaks quite a bit of English and she's good at speaking her French super slowly and clearly so I can figure out what's going on). 

Lyse and Davis's sister (sadly, I can't quite remember her name), Davis, and Lyse outside the school

At school we went to her classroom. Each class has it's own room and the teachers go to the class. While we were waiting for school to start Alexia and Sterly came by to say "hi" (or bonjour, really) from their class (quatreième but that's French system, so it's like U.S. 8th grade, Lyse is in Seconde which is U.S. 10th grade, and Davis is in Terminale which is U.S. 12th grade). And Lyse introduced me to all her friends in the room. It was name after name that was just foreign enough that I really had no idea what their names were. But I tried my usual headnod and smile and "oui" and it seemed to work. (Later they wrote them down for me and then they made more sense. 

First up was English class. I'm not really sure what hapened, but I think it wasn't English. The professor introduced himself in English, but what with all the other students chattering in French and the professor not speaking very loudly and Lyse and my seat being in the very back, I only caught that they were not having class today and that I was welcome to come back another time. Which actually kinda makes sense now, but at the time I took "class" to mean "school" and I thought he was maybe telling me to leave, except that he kept saying I was welcome. So it came across something like, "You're welcome here, but we're not having class today, so come back another time (not today?) and welcome, but not today." I was thoroughly confused and looked to Lyse for help, except he'd spoken in English and I don't think she followed either.

He asked if I spoke French, I believe he asked this in English. I responded in French, and he looked confused, so I repeated "Un peau" in French. The kids started laughing and doing that "oooh" like "oooh some one's in trouble!" noise. Then I realised. This is the ENGLISH teacher speaking to me in ENGLISH and I am for some reason responding in French. I was throughly confused about what language I was speaking in all morning really. But I'm just hoping he wasn't offended that I didn't think he'd understand English or something and takes it as the poor confused white kid. 

Anyway, then he started calling out names and numbers and then names and then students were calling out numbers while everyone was talking. This went on for about an hour. After a while I determined based on a few clues (like one equation on Lyse's notebook) that he must've given each student an equation and then recalled them and they were giving the answer. But a couple of students would say answers frequently and they were all different...so I don't really know what was happening and either I didn't understand what Lyse was telling me or she didn't understand my question about what was going on. Or more likely it was both.

After English/turned math/socilization time it was recreation time. This is a little break where you can get up and walk around and go buy a sandwhich or say hi to friends.  We met up with Davis (Lyse's brother) and went and got a sandwhich. They asked what kind I wanted but I couldn't tell what kind they were so I told them to choose and I ended up with viande which is meat. It was really fantastic. I didn't get to most of it until 3pm, and I question my sanity since I let it sit in my purse till then...but oh well. If I start puking my guts up soon I'll have learned my lesson. 

Lyse and Davis introduced me to a biology teacher and a math teacher and the director of the school before it was time to return to class.

Davis, me, Director of the school. They are both nice and friendly....even though they look kinda angry in this picture. People here don't always smile for photos. But I did, which makes this photo sorta funny looking.

Lyse had Biology next and she was part of a group giving an expose (presentation). As best I can understand this expose was on growing plants and the variable factors to growing a plant (manioc seemed to be the example) outside versus in a greenhouse where you can control the temp and water and add extra CO2, etc. 

After the group gave the presentation there were remarks. I don't know what they were, but the students were sure getting into it. Pretty much all I caught was "I have a simple remark" and then whatever he said next wasn't very simple sounding to me. The kids were jumping up and very exuberant.

And then came question time. Oh vey. I have never seen highschoolers fighting to get a chance to ask questions! They were all angry when they thought they were being ignored too long and everyone had questions and then the presenters had to answer them. If the presenter answered in a way the class liked then they'd break out into applause. It was hysterical. All these teenagers so excited about fields versus green houses. At the end they were all yelling at eachother. I think some were angry at Lyse, but it's hard to tell since yelling at someone and looking angry seems to also just be how they discuss anything here. I have no idea what it was all about, but just that difference of students fighting to participate in school versus wishing they had nothing to do with it was facinating. 

It's a very relaxed atmosphere during class. The kids all talk (while still listening and debating somehow) and at one point Davis showed up with her camera and was walking around the classroom taking pictures. I found this terribly awkward. But no one else seemed to care. 

After Biology was another break. During this break some of the girls around us asked me tons of questions. Pulcherie asked the most. She wanted to know everything about school in the US. These was difficult for me since I was homeschooled. To be honest, normal highschool is really a mystery for me. I work off of movies and I have no idea how accurate those are. My friends tended to just say the had classes and lunch and that is about as detailed a description I've ever managed to hear. So I explained that I did school at home and was taught by my mom with my siblings. This amazed them. So they asked what I subjects I learned. Then they were amazed that I'm 23 and have finished university (college). They said that you are normally 30 when you've finished here.  They also asked if young people are Christians in the US, so I explained that some are and some aren't but that schools tend to be pretty anti-christianity so that makes it difficult for students to know what is true.  It was pretty interesting conversation. I had a hard time understanding Pulcherie because she talked very quickly and not very loudly . There were lots of other students around talking loudly so I could rarely make out everything she said. So she'd ask something quickly and then look expectant. I would try and make since of it and then say something like, "encore? Doussament!" And then Plucherie would smack Lyse and ask her translate. Lyse would then slowly repeat whatever Plucherie had said a few times while I pieced it together. It was slow but it worked!

In back there is Pulcherie and me. She was super excited and came jumping out of her bench and running around to sit by me for the photo. It was funny. That's Jeanne right in front of us.

I've been told that this is because of lots of strikes and canceled school days etc. These mean that kids often end up having to repeat a year because they didn't have enough days in the year to count as a school year and of course people fail too. Davis is repeating his last year again because he didn't pass English, but I've heard that's pretty common too. 

I was introduced as an English Professor (or teacher really) all day, which I felt a little bad about, because I haven't actually ever taught yet. But I guess it's close enough. 

After a little while we went off to find Davis. He and Lyse took me on a tour of the school. There was this bizzare painting of a distraught looking man with a giant ant eating him. The ant had entirely swallowed his foot and didn't look nearly satiated. I pointed it out  and said something about the ant eating the man, and Davis and Lyse seemed to think it perfectly normal and explained something but I didn't really understand. I'll have to bring this up Sunday when Lisa is around to help explain! It was really a little creepy.

We came across more of my friends, Alogia and another girl I think maybe Gina or Pricillia and then another girl I know named Mimita.  And there was lots more picture taking. I asked Davis to bring his camera next sunday so I can get the pictures from him. All their friends wanted to be in a picture with me. It was pretty funny.

Then it was time to head back to class. We went back after promising Davis to drop by his class. After waiting around a while Everyone got up and started leaving saying "we're finished." I thought maybe they didn't take Spainish (although that didn't explain why they came back to sit around. And then Lyse explained the Spanish professor wasn't there today so we could leave. So we went down to meet Davis's class.

This was awkward. Davis introduced me, then he wanted me to say something. I asked if he meant in English, and he said "no, in french" so I gave it a go. I really didn't have much to add to what Davis had already said and I got the impression they just wanted me to speak. But my French was pretty awful which amused them and then all the students told me to speak in English. So I apologized for my French and proceeded to say the same things again but in English. Then Davis wanted me to see his desk. And then he wanted a picture of me in with the class, so people made room for me and then I think people were starting to get a little uppity with their comments so Lyse decided it was time to go, which was fine because the whole thing was a little awkward really. 

You would think that would be a good end right there, but no!

However, it's time for me to go, so the rest will have to wait for another installment tomorrow!

Three Photos and More Words

Here's  a few photos from this week all of which I really love.

First up is a fantastic sunset on Sunday. I was walking back with Joanna and the kids from up by the school after watching Luke and Sarah and Christine (one of the PAACS resident's and my French teacher's (Rachelle) little girl) during the PAACS Bible Study. The sunset was phenomenal and I happened to have my camera! 

Here's the same sunset but from a different angle and different direction down by Keir and Joanna's house. 

Then here's a great photo from up at the school with the kids this week. It's been incredibily hot latley thus I am sweating buckets, but it's a cute photo still. One of my favorites. The kids love to take pictures with my camera so sometimes I just let them run around take turns photographing stuff. Most of the time they are not so great, but sometimes when I go to delete most of them I'm surprised by a great one. Although this was actually thanks to the timer. But if Sarah hadn't been playing with the camera we wouldn't have set it up...

In other news, pretty much everything is fabulous. I miss everything here and I haven't even left yet. I'll be in the US in just 29 days and I can't even believe it. I want to hide and stay. I also want time to go faster. Depends on the moment.

Today I went on the grand tour of Lebamba (we have visitors) again. It was still fun. I was preposed to (if you can call it that). And I got apple soda. It was an exciting trip.

Tonight Lisa and I went over to the Kelly's (their house is attached to ours) and we made a Gabonese style meal together. We had Capitain fish (not prepared like they would, but it was fried and there were two girls over, Alogia and Grace, who instructed us in the ways of scaling, gutting and cleaning fish. It would be easier if the knives were sharp, that's all I have to say. But I also might be down to 8-9 fingers if they were. So I won't complain to bitterly. Then we had sweet potatoe fries (which are simply amazing), fried plaintain, and aubergine (little funky, bitter eggplant) from our plantation trip. It was a tasty meal. Alogia and her brother stayed for dinner with us which was fun.

I'm going to school tomorrow with Liz and she told me to make sure I didn't forget my camera, so hopefully I'll have good stories and pictures for you all tomorrow.

I need to force myself to finish my super sour tea and go to bed so I'm ready for tomorrow! I think I'm getting sick, I have a bad sore throat and a little cough. So Lisa told me to put a lemon in tea for the vitamin C. Maybe a whole lemon was overkill. 

à bientôt,

Jessica

Plantation

Sadly, the other layout started having problems, so I'm trying another.

Yesterday was plantation day. I went with Lisa (My roommate) and Amanda Kelly to a plantation with two friends of Lisa's. Lisa met Mamma Antoine and Mamma Odeille at the Alliance Women's retreat and they go to Makombo (the church Lisa goes to when not making the several hour trek to Dousala).

Walking out to meet the mammas was pretty funny since we walked through the hospital and past the highschool (who have class on saturday). We looked pretty goofy (Tim Kelly said it looked like Holloween) with our head wraps and long skirts, machetes and Amanda with her own panier (that's the basket everyone carries to and from their plantations.)



These ladies were super nice and let us tag along to their plantation. We started out a little later than expected and we had problems meeting up with them in town because we went to the college (highschool) and they were waiting at the primary school. While we were waiting for Mamma Antoine to find us we got this cute picture of the three of us while sitting in the shade of a little building.



We met up eventually and introductions were made. Mamma Antoine's 16 year old son, Walker (named after one of the doctor's here) was a part of the group also. After walking a way behind the school past little houses we came to the edge of the jungle. Mamma Odeille led the way with a machete clearing the path. They go pretty much every week but everything here grows so quickly that the path becomes overgrown in very little time.

Amanda and I got a lesson in wielding a machete against the wiley jungle plants as we walked along the first leg of our journey. It was amazing how quickly they move through the jungle. It was difficult to keep up hopping over logs and vines and nearly running over the uneven ground closed in on either side by plants taller than me.





After a while the sceanary changed from tall green grasses and smaller trees with the occasional pineapple plant to more of a forrest with enormous trees all around. We eventually came to the Langonier river where there were a few pirouges docked.



I was thrilled to see that we were going to get to ride in the pirouges (this was on my list, after all!) We had to take two trips, with Walker being the master pirouge captain. It was pretty tricky to get into the little dug out boat without making it wobble much. Mamma Antoine and Walker put their sandals down as shoes for us (they can do all this traveling through the jungle in flip-flops!) and when riding in the pirougue I felt pretty confident that I might just tip us all over before the day was done. Thankfully, it didn't happen, but I did make it rock an uncomfortable amount a few times...

Walker took us across the river and down a ways to another bank where we got out and walked more. We forged through a shallow part of the river (I slipped and slided all the way across while they continually called out "doussament! dousament!" (Slowly! Slowly!) And yet whenever I slowed down I had a fear of being left behind since they seemed quite good at sprinting through the jungle. At this point I do believe we were all sweating buckets. It is harder work than I would have imagined just walking through the jungle.

Antoine and Odeille showed us some sap on a huge tree at one point which they let us smell (it has a strong pine like odor) and they said their ancestors would use it for a torche (like a torch or a flashlight). It burns very well and would keep lit for a few hours. After our quick and fascinating lesson we took off again.

Traveling through more woods and more little swampy river fording until we reached the river again where Walker met us with the pirouge. We took another short ride and continued walking. This next walk took a while but finally led to the plantation.

The plantation looks very similar to the rest of the jungle except that most of the plants in it are edible or produce something edible. There are no clear rows. As I understand it, many of the plants grow naturally wherever they want within the plantation. Lisa, Amanda and I were shown how to use the machetes to start weeding the plantation while Mamma Antoine and Odeille found Aubergine (they are small, round, bitter eggplants that come in red, green and orange), Okra, a few squash and Manioc leaves.

Weeding seemed like an endless and futile job since we were essentially weeding the jungle. But after thinking about how quickly everything here geows I imagine it is an important job to keep up on, otherwise I'm sure that the plantation would be every bit as overgrown as what we walked through to reach it!

I was exhausted by the time we reached the plantation and definitely wishing I had brought water along. The weeding was difficult as we were not familiar with the plants and had only a vague idea of what was a weed and what was not. To further complicate things one prolific crop were the sweet potatoes which grown on vines crawling all over the plantation floor. It was difficult to maneuver without stepping on all the vines and to then find the weeds hiding beneath and between all the plants so we could remove them. I was shaking and sore and feeling a bit like I might black out so after a while I had to take a rest. It was amazing to see Antoine and Odeille working and selecting the fruit with the ease that we American's pick up vegetables from the produce stands in Wal*Mart.

We were unfortunately a little crunched for time as we needed to be back for a baby shower for one of the resident's wives. This led to a bit of stress as time dragged on. Finally it came time to leave. Antoine and Odeille carefully arranged the harvest in their paniers and then explained that they were going to quickly stop to get some bananas from another plantation.



I was so excited when it was time to go since I did not really want to find out what would happen if I passed out from exhaustion in the plantation. The news of the bananas was a touch disappointing, but I knew they were easy to cut down so I wasn't to worried.

Once we made it to where the banana trees were they also began to dig up tubercule douce (sweet manioc, which you can eat more as is than the bitter manioc which they prepare by mashing and souring). It was fascinating to see Odeille chop down the tubercule tree then rip it out of the ground then chop off the roots and go on to the next while We helped walker collect the tubercule in a bag.

This took a little while but we were shortly on our way back to the pirouge. We kept the panier in the pirouge rather than carrying them between the two stops.


Walker, Lisa, Amanda, Odeille, Antoine

The river was higher than on our way to the plantation making the places we had to forage seem much more ample. During one such area I placed my foot part way down a little slippery, invisible trench. The water was very muddy and impossible to see through and the ground was slimy and slippery. My foot immediately slid down into the trench and I plopped down into the river. It was really quite refreshing and thankfully my camera and Lisa's cell phone which I was carrying survived alright. Any pride that I might have had (which was very little since I was already proving myself to be very American after tripping over every branch and catching my feet in every vine and even managing to cut my thumb with the machete) disappeared at this point. But at least it helped me cool off a bit.


At the second pirougue station I went on the first trip with Mamma Antoine and the panier. We each took a panier (I had Amanda's littler one) and walked back to the primary school (which was a much longer walk than I remembered) and out to the road. We were looking for Tim who was coming to pick us up and give us all a ride back. But he had had to go back to pick up Luke since he was watching him for the Baby shower which was starting in a few minutes. After a short wait and discussing the weather and trying to explain how it is sunny in the US too but it also gets very cold (and still sunny) and how even when it is hot and sunny everything is so far that we drive and so we don't have to walk in the sun like they do here. Mamma Antoine pointed off to a distant mountain which seemed quite a ways away as she explained their other plantation was on that mountain and that next time, we would go there with them. I felt a little weak at this idea and right about then the second group appeared. They were able to call Tim again and just as we were setting out to start walking till we met up he pulled up. I have never been so happy to see a ride in my life I think.

We dropped off Antoine, Odielle and Walker and they gave us Amanda's panier full of aubergine, okra, bananas, and squash even though Lisa tried to explain that the experience was really all we wanted. They wouldn't have it though and insisted that we take some.

Then we came and home and managed to shower and get dressed up for the baby showe in just a few minutes!

It was, all in all a fantastic experience. I'm still debating with myself if I would ever go again, and I'm vaguely hoping that they won't go to the distant one until I leave so that I don't have to decide! I'm not nearly as tough as these amazing women here!

This morning Lisa said Antoine and Odeille were leading worship and energetic as always, while we are sore and achy. It's really quite incredible.

We made our share of the aubergine that evening and had them for dinner and then again today. They're pretty good, but we learned you should peel these smaller ones from the forrest or they are incredibly bitter. But I think they're pretty good. And Lisa made fried okra that were fantastic. It's neat to think that all this food was just picked yesterday! I think it makes it taste that much better!

Jessica

The Weekend

After making my list the observation hit me that I do not see wild animals here...I only eat them. 

Although I haven't eaten Monkey still. I think that and seeing a Wild one (and Elephant) are the least likely things for me to acomplish while still here. We'll see. Maybe it will work out!

I've been told I need more photos on here. I think that's a fair enough comment. So I'll add some this post.

Now we're going to flashback to Saturday 11 April 2009. (Yes! I remembered it's 2009!)

10am-- I went to the river with a whole bunch of people. Thelanders, Dave and Becki, Paul and Meladee, the Oliphants (visiting family), Renee, and Tim, Forrest, and Zach Kelly. It was, as usual, a fabulous time. I like the river. It's not to intense, but it is really interesting. 

This time we saw termites or driver ants or something(there was dispute, I would say termites, but they were out in the sun and I'm not an expert, so take that with a grain of salt) making their way across the river on a fallen log. Doesn't seem to exciting except that there were thousands of them! And they made this little tunnel which they were all crawling through. Then Keir and Tim knocked off a little bunch of them. The little blob that fell were confused, but the other insects quickly filled in their missing part of the highway in under 2 minutes. It was neat.

I don't have pictures of this, because I didn't take my camera, I probably should have though. But I'll steal a picture from Becki really quick on Facebook:

After the river I got all dressed up in my african ensemble and went to a wedding. There was a Pasteur getting married and I sorta tagged along with Karen and Lisa to the wedding.  

First they had the cultural wedding on Thursday in Mouila where the groom has to pay the brideprice to the bride's family. I've heard it includes things like large quantities of fabric and oil. They normally have a set price, but then during the ceremony the family jacks it up a bit and so the groom has to come prepared with more.

But Saturday it started out with the Civil cermony at the Mayor's office in Lebamba. This was pretty funny actually. The Mayor kept making all these jokes and hamming it all up.

The bride and groom had to declare if they were going to have a monogamous or polygamous marriage. They chose Monagamous and everyone cheered and clapped. And then the Mayor made certain that they really wanted a monagamous marriage. 

Then they had to declare if they were going to keep their possisions mutally or seperately. They chose to own them together. 

Once it got to the vows the Mayor made them repeat their answers more loudly and during the kiss he made sure that they turned and repeated it so that everyone could see. 

After this ceremony they made a tour de ville with the happy couple, but Karen and Lisa and I drove and dropped up Karen's guest Romain and Mamma Jackie (she's the administrator's wife) at the church for the next part and then took a quick bathroom break up at the station.

The second part of the day was the Church ceremony.

The bride and groom were danced down the aisle with lots of loud worship songs to a white decked out couch where they sat during a sermon on obstacles to a good marriage.

Bride and Groom on the couch at the front of the church. You can see the people singing to the right:

I was sitting by Karen which is great because she translated parts for me. This means that I can share some of the obstacles to a good marriage.  Now, as a disclaimer, I don't mean this in a mocking way at all, but it all struck me as a little funny because the things they brought up were either so different from what people talk about at a wedding in the US or presented so differently that it struck me as almost funny. But it was really a beautiful ceremony and I think their points were all very good. I actually liked what they said more than most of the wedding ceremonies I've been to in the US.

Anyway, some of the cautions and advise went like this:

To the groom:

Your wife is like a lamp. She'll provide light for your whole family. Don't beat her, if you beat her, that light will go out.

To the bride:

Submit to your husband (they really hammered this, which is good, but I think most people in the US are not so bold as to talk about that for 10 min at a wedding!), not because you are afraid of him or are less than him but out of love.

Oh dear...it's been to long and I can't quite pull out the rest of the advice from my brain. But it was interesting. 

The people doing the sermon were facinating. They also struck me as comical, and people laughed a lot so they were apparently funny.  But what got me was there was the guy giving the sermon in French and then the translator (I'm not positive which tribal language he was translating it into). They were both animated, waving hands and very vocally expressive. The funny part as how the translator mimiced the tones and hand gestures and everything exactly. It looked like he must've been great at driving his siblings mad with the copycat game when he was younger. 

Here's a video...because it was so amazing (things to note: The translator mimicing the pastor scratching his head at the end (It think that's what's going on anyway) Pasteur Andre(groom) taking notes--he had been instructed at the beginning to write it all down and was given a pen and paper):

I left the wedding ceremony a little bit early to go help Mamma Jackie, Lisa, Joanna, and Renee decorate the wedding cakes. Mamma Jackie had made somewhere around 13 round cakes (2 stacked to make one...) . We were whipping up icing and colors and covering those cakes fast as we coul while Joanna piped out nice little designs on them! We thought was had about 30 minutes for the lot, but Mamma Jackie explained that the Gabonese aren't particularly constrained by time restraints and schedules, so we didn't need to be worried about being "right on time" since they wouldn't be needed by then.

We got them all decorated, and then the trick was to get all of them down the big bumpy hill and over the bumpy roads to the college (school) where the reception was being held.  We only had  people and 2 cars, so 2 were driving. I managed to watch 4 cakes as we bumped along and somehow we managed to make it just fine. 

Prepping the cakes:

Lisa and I hung out at the reception but somehow we didn't end up getting seated so we didn't get any food. It wasn't a huge deal though, I enjoyed hanging out in the kitchen with the cakes and seeing how theings worked in there. It was also neat to see everyone all dressed up and see bunches of friends.

Bride and groom cutting the cakes:

The night ended at about 10 pm, when we came home and Lisa had to make a pie for the next day I had to boil eggs for Easter dinner!

Sunday (sorry this is so long! Iwill go quicker now (because I have to go watch the kids!)

Easter Morning I went to church with the Thelander's at Mandji. They had some special songs and dances. 

Then I went to Sunday school with Joanna and Becki. Beckie taught the Easter story. At first the kids were being pretty rowdy, much more than usual it seemed to me. So I was praying against any spiritual attacks right then that were trying to distract the kids and keep them from hearing the Easter story. Afterall there's the most important thing they'll ever here, why wouldn't Satan want that stopped? But things quieted down after a little bit.  

here's some boys listening with rapt attention:

Becki also taught the kids the "He is Risen!" "He is risen indeed!" declaration and response (in French: " Il est ressucité!" "Il est vraiment ressucité!"). I'm not sure I should add another video to this post. But I'm going to anyway. Here's a little video of Becki and the kids going back and forth.

Here's another picture of Anna and I. She and I met the week before easter when I was saying hi to different kids after church. She actually kept talking with me beyond "what's your name." And she remembered me this week in Sunday school when I handed her a coloring paper (I guess I do sorta stand out here though). And then she hung around me after church. She's super sweet.

After Church they had communion for Becki and Joanna, Jamie (visiting family) and me since we'd been in Sunday school. Then they had a meal that the Thelander's and I stayed for.

After that it was back to the station. I quickly (well, tried, the eggs were being difficult) made deviled eggs for the potluck. then visitors came over and then it was time for the easter egg hunt and  dinner. It was a great day. 

Sorry for the long post, but it was interesting stuff, so I thought I'd share!

Jessica

Here and There

Quick update today...

I've found I have a bad habit of not posting when I'm busy because, well, I am busy, and it's a daunting thought to try and convey everything I'm thinking. So I don't. But then when I am not busy I don't really feel like posting about what I'm not doing.

But here I am moderately busy, so you get a post!

I actually had some things to update you all on.

1) I changed the way this site looks. You're at the right one--no worries.

2) After praying a lot and talking with friends and family, I've taken a job teaching in Gudalajara, Mexico for this coming school year of 2009-2010. A lot of you probably know this, it wasn't a secret or anything, but I haven't really posted it on here either. So now you know! I'm going to be teaching high school English (two sections of 9th grade and then one of 10th, 11th, and 12th). It's a christian school there and I'll be teaching in English (the kids are fluent or close) to mostly mexican kids but the school also has missionary kids and other nationalities who live there for various reasons. It's the same school that Marcella taught at.


3) Because of the above reason I have to leave here a bit earlier than originally anticipated. I need to be in Mexico in early August and with various family things going on this summer and a trip back to Lima to see everyone and the need to repack to leave the country again and hopefully a little rest somewhere in there, I'm planning on leaving here May 21st. This will give me about 2 months in the US to acomplish all the above and more. It will be a busy time I think. I'm super sad about the fact that I only have 37 more days left (if I've been telling people less than that, that's only because I started getting a little confused and counting days as having 5 days each...I'm not particularly good with numbers. Which is why I'm not teaching math next year.). I can't believe my time here is drawing to a close. I'm thrilled at the idea of seeing my family and meeting the new dog at home and being able to talk to everyone in English (although I am really starting to become fond of French and can finally manage conversations in it!). But it will be really hard to leave. I can tell that already. I'm constantly tempted to start looking for a way to stay, but I really think God is leading me on to Mexico, and I hate to start throwing a fit. I wasn't always too sure I really wanted to come here and it's been great so I have faith that Mexico will be a good experience as well!

4) On the bright side, my upcoming departure date means that I feel an urgent sense of "oh no! I have to do everything now or I may never get to try it!" I'm not sure how I'm going to go about getting everything done, but I'm going to try. This means I should be doing interesting things and you should get some interesting updates (unless of course I get too busy :-p)

I think I'll add my list of things on the side here if I can figure out how and then you can see what ridiculous things I'm hoping to get into and what I have escaped alive. (actually they're not that exciting mostly. But I think I will add crazy stuff I have done as well just to make my list more impressive.

5) The first things I'm getting myself into are coming up on Friday and early May.
With my urgent "do-it-now-sense" pushing me on into unexplored waters I found myself asking a friend who was over Sunday if I could go to school with her. She's in Highschool and is about the equivalent of a sophmore in the states. She's very nice and speaks a fair amount of English. She and her brother and a younger sister come to visit Lisa most Sundays and they've become friends of mine too. Lisa wasn't back from church yet sunday when I brought up this fabulous half-baked plan and it took quite a bit of work to make sure that this was ok. I was certain based on their reactions at first. But Liz is going to ask her professors (she was quite certain they wouldn't mind) and then she set up with me to meet her down at the Hospital Friday morning so I can come along to school for her morning classes. They have class in the morning (English, Biology, and Spanish in this case) and then a break for a few hours for lunch and then more classes. I'm only going to the morning classes so that I can still watch Luke and Sarah in the afternoon. I'm very excited about this though!

And today I talked with Joanna about riding up with them to Libreville and back when they go up in early May sometime. This way I can hopefully see people more and say that I made the trip by car. I'm excited. :-)

That's about it for now! If nothing to exciting happens then I'll plan to share some of the highlights of this past weekend before the week is over!

Tears and Trust

Monday night I ate dinner at the Thelander's. They had invited over a visiting general surgery resident and his wife and two little boys who are all here for a month.

The older little boy (he's 3) really hit it off with Luke and was having a great time playing with him. However, he and his brother (1) are young so they had to go back to go to bed about 7:30. And the poor kid was distraught at this idea, to the point where it was almost comical.

When it came out that it was time to go home he started crying. His mom tried to reassure him that he would be able to come over and play again to which he responded, "No we won't! No we won't! I just know we won't!"

At the time this struck me as a totally bizzare response. The adults tried to reason with him that he is staying here for a month and they right next door. They even tried telling him what day he would come over, but for several minutes it was all no use as he just kept up his mantra, convinced that he'd been brought to have the time of his life only so that it could be torn away from him forever.

He eventually quieted down and they went home.

Today he and his brother were back at the Thelander's having a great time dying easter eggs and decorating giant sugar cookies shaped like eggs. It was probably an even better time than on Monday!

It struck me the other night that I am so frequently just like that little boy.

God gives me something good but once it starts to come to a close I start crying and getting angry and challenging him since I'm certain now it's going to be worse. Surely the whole experience was just a way for him to whet my appetite and then leave me with a consuming hunger for more and nothing to feast on.

But just like this little boy had loving parents who only have his best in mind (since if he did stay and play all night he would've been miserable) I have a loving God who knows that sometimes I need to step back and sometimes I need to go somewhere else for the night. Not to deprive me, but so that he can give me something even better later.

I think it's just as bewildering for this little kid to be told he has to leave as it is for any other person to get hard news or to face any kind of change. Afterall, it seems so much easier to just stay in one place. Keeping with the status quo can be a pretty easy. Familiar is comfortable, but sometimes you really have to just look up at God, hold back the tears and say, "Ok, I trust you on this one. I know you love me and it will turn out great." Then you let him take your hand and lead you on to whatever he's got planned next.

What did you do today?

Tonight I was reading in the living room, I brought down my little battery powered alarm clock so I knew what time it was. The plan was to go to dinner with the Kellys, Thelanders and Paul and Meladee. 

We went to the Restauraunt and it was a fun time.

After coming home I didn't do anything in particular.

It was a fine and dandy, perfectly normal evening.

After calling home I was getting ready to go to bed and was about to go to sleep when I remembered my alarm clock was in the living room.

So I got up and walked down the little hall when I got to the three steps down into the living room, I naturally scanned for snakes on the stairs.

This is natural because once you find one snake in your house you're always looking out for more.

There wasn't anything on the steps and we had the christmas lights on so I could see well enough and didn't bother with the light.

I proceeded down the steps and headed towards the table with my clock--for some reason I went a little further left than necessary (probably to avoid being to close to furniture which could harbor lurking creatures like spiders or snakes or mice or tarantulas) and I kept scanning for snakes, which I remember thinking, "you never see anything, and you already looked around, why are you worried now?" but somewhere in there a think black line started quickly slithering away on the bamboo mat I was stepping on just a foot or so away from me. I stared at it as it rapidly slid towards the tv table. I squeeled and quickly pondered what to do while I sprinted to the stairs to flip on the light and then ran for the machete. My fear of the cockroaches in the cabinet where the machete was made me hesitate for just a second as I then decided a snake was worse than cockroaches and flung open the cabinet. I grabbed the machete (but not without a quick glance for the offensive bugs on it) and dashed to few feet back towards the tv stand. The problem was that the snake was moving and heading in the general direction of the book case where he could easily hide. Determined to not lose him I had to decide between stopping him with the machete or getting help. As Lisa had already not noticed my squeel or the banging cabinet I figured help might take too long and the snake might get away. So using the near-by rocking chair as a shield (at least mr. late-night visitor could'nt directly lunge at and bite me!) I positioned the machete just below his head and struck. He was little and the blow was accurate enough that was in two pieces before I almost realised what I was doing. I gave him another little cut because it seemed like everyone normally hacks the critters to pieces, but I figured with his head off their would be no problems. I watched the blood trickle out over the floor and the gravity of what just happened started to sink in.

As I stared at the glassy smothe body I took note that he was not the same as our African tree cobra. He wasn't black. He didn't have a yellow belly. Instead he was a cool steel Grey with a milky belly. Ice ran through my veins as I realised that if I had stepped a few inches further to the right I would have stepped on a baby black mamba and could have potentially been dying on my floor at that minute.  

At about this time Mr. Mamba decided to start squirming. At first I tried to convince myself that it was just twitching of his lifeless body. But as I watched him for the next few minutes, both pieces  continued wriggling on the ground while his significantly abbreviated head and upper body repeatedly opened it's mouth revealing the tell-tale black mouth for which the creature is named. I realised that he wasn't dead, he was slowly dying and showing all the bravado he could muster in his last minutes encouraging me that he would gladly introduce his fangs and deadly venom if I would only be so kind as to stick my finger close enough to his rather un-mobile head.

I may not be the cleverest person around, but I obliging that apparent desire of the snakes seemed like a stupid idea. So instead, I ran and got my camera and tried to get a good picture and video of the snake. Unfortunately my camera didn't feel like focusing and my footage makes big foot pictures look as detailed as a Van Eyck painting . 

Nonetheless, I have to share. Unfortuneatly my commentary on the video is a bit to quiet to hear, but my poor traumatized brain decided to share something along the lines of, "Here's the black mamba I just found and killed with the machete. He's still alive. I could be dead right now. See now he's opening he's showing us his black mouth from which he derived his name..."  You have to see it to realise how funy it is.

Here's the photo:

I am so thankful to God that he showed me the snake so it's not still slithering around our house and that I was able to kill it without any problems!

I couldn't really sleep after that so I called mom again. Poor mom. She answered the phone and I blurted out: "I just killed a black mamba in my living room." That's exactly what a mother wants to here her daughter say. She did well I think. But I do believe I freaked her out a bit. Then I stayed up till 3. Once I did go to sleep I dreamt I was bitten by a 6ft long African tree cobra and got his fang stuck in my hand and I found at least another 3 snakes in our house who I kept trying to kill with a machete. It didn't go so well as in real life...I was certainly happy to wake up and find that I was dying from a snake bite, but the four and a half hours of sleep I'm working on today is going to catch up to me later I think...

Tune in next time for hopefully a little bit more boring! (Although I do feel sorta proud of being able to say I've killed a deadly snake with a machete all on my own, even if it was sorta tiny...)

Love,

Jessica

Just so you all know...

I'm still alive.

I'm even doing better, which is great. The nasty rash is less noticeable and I'm not feeling as bad as I was.

Now if I could just lose this irritating runny nose and if I didn't have a bug bite that felt like a lion gnawing through my ankle....

But I'm re-entering society again today.* This should be good since if I have to sit around on my own anymore I think I am liable to become clinically insane.

Thanks for your prayers everybody...they are probably the reason you don't have a raving lunatic for a friend/relative right now! (I would really appreciate prayer about the bugbite though, I know it sounds dumb, but it hurts extraordinarily badly, and I can't really gnaw off my leg like a fox** in a trap even though I want too.)

Jessica

* This may even be interesting since this means a trip to Lebamba while the President is supposedly visiting, but his wife just died so he may not be coming, we shall see. If anything exciting and post-worthy happens, I'll let you know, no worries. Even if nothing exciting does happen though, I'll be able to get salt, which I am excited about.

**I don't know if foxes actually do this, I've read that muskrats do, but I don't really feel like comparing myself to a muskrat... *EDIT* It turns out that during one 4 year study of animal leg traps 26% of foxes did chew off their legs, so I don't have to be a muskrat. Hurray.

It's official...

So if you've talked to me in the last few days, you probably know I've been mostly miserable since Sunday.

At first I thought it was a cold...then I thought I was dying. The latter has been the most prevalent conviction since then..

I felt like I'd been hit by a truck at first, then I was nearly convincecd that I had long hot needles being jammed through every joint, bone, and organ in my body. Luckily, feelings are decieving, and there weren't any actual pieces of metal attacking me (I think). 

I basically slept Sunday evening through Thursday morning. 

Then, on Thursday I did school with the kids because I wasn't feeling quite so awful and my fevers were down to around 99* or so. 

We had a fun time learning about St. Patrick's day (I was too sick to do school on the Tuesday during the real holiday...but it worked out)

Then I went over to Joanna's with all the kids (Zach, Forrest and Emma--the new kids on the block-- came to school with us that day and to lunch). But at lunch that feeling of, "oh dear, I think I'm dying..." started to return. 

So I walked home. And ended up having other stuff to do like identifying a large snake that was just like the one in this house (except this one was a lot larger) and a skype date. At about 4 I started really feeling horrible and my fever was almost 102*. So I took a nap, the rest of the evening is actually really hazy. I remember being cold and taking a shower to get warm and still feeling cold. I remember Lisa leaving (she had told me she was but for some reason I thought she meant some other day...) and then I slept. 

That evening my dad was online and he was nice enough to talk to me while I mourned for myself and tried to explain my misery. Then he told me to go to the hospital in the morning and see a doctor.

This whole time Lisa had suggested that perhaps it was Congo Fever...something she had gotten. But then, she said when she had it she had bone crushing pain and couldn't get up.

I maintained the whole time that I did hurt and that it felt exactly like a flare of fibromyalgia (except for the fever and headache behind the eyes). I'm used to pushing through that, so I did.

Anyway, she commented again last night to keep an eye out for the rash that would be a sure sign of the fever, except this time she said it'd start on my chest...my response? "Oh, like this?"

I'd noticed my neck/chest looking a little mottled, but that's where one of my tan spots is and so it always looks weird to me. Color is funny looking, I'm used to milk white. 

But then we couldn't decide if it was a rash or if I was just patchy...so the plan was to go down to the hospital today and see one of the doctors.

When I got up this morning my fever wasn't as bad, but I felt awful. I couldn't tell if the rash was worse, but I was pretty sure it was a rash.  I knew there was no way I could walk down to the hospital since I didn't want to walk down to the kitchen even.  My headache was so bad that my vision was flickering weirdly. So I took a shower (to get warm again...still freezing, which is a sign you're not quite right when it's in the mid 80s. ) and went back to bed instead.

Lisa came back at 11:30 or so, and I was embarressed that I'd fallen asleep again, so I got up and tried to act natural by standing like a zombie in my dark room staring at the wall. Realising that was not so impressive I grabbed my hair gel. Who doesn't stand around using hair gel  on their mostly dry hair in the dark?

Lisa said Karen was here, so I went down and she saw the rash and Lisa was sure it was one now too, and they decided it was Red Congo Fever. (So dad, I didn't go down to the hospital, but I did have a house call by a nurse practitioner...Lisa wanted me to tell you that)

Lisa was really excited about this, first because she diagnosed it and second because she said this makes me an offical missionary now. 

I'm not sure that I'm quite as excited as her. But they did tell me I needed to stay home and rest otherwise I won't get better and that made me happy because that's what I wanted to do but I felt like I should go watch the kids since I've been so absent this week.

So now I'm about to go back to sleep. At noon. Because I can barely keep my eyes open. I'd appreciate your prayers that I recover soon.

Your now official red and achy missionary,

Jessica